Types of Violent Relationships

 

Domestic violence 

It is violence created in a domestic place such as in homes and in an intimate relationship. It is committed by a spouse in an intimate relationship against another spouse. It can be done in many forms such as physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, religious abuse, economic abuse, reproductive abuse, and lastly sexual abuse. These kinds of abuses are usually seen in women. Its been seen that there’s a direct correlation between the country’s gender equality and rates of domestic violence.

Domestic violence occurs when the partner thinks it’s acceptable, enlightenment, and won’t be reported. They play the toxic dominant role here. It might be produced as a product from generations together, the cycle of abuse. Victims of domestic violence sometimes don’t end up standing up for themselves because of isolation, power control, children, family, culture, lack of resources, and society.

Victims due to abuse might have dysregulated aggression, chronic health problem, a psychological disorder like posttraumatic stress disorder and mental illness. Children who live in such an environment are seen to have psychological problems like avoidance, dysregulated aggression to much more trauma. Nothing is fair in love and war.

 

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Physical abuse

It is done to cause fear, pain, and physical harm to somebody. It is done to show their control and dominance. Physical injury is done in order to emotionally harm the victim. Physical abuse can also be strangulation, homicide, acid attacks, during pregnancy, and bride burning. Violent acts include pushing, slapping, using objects to harm you, choking, whipping, or any act that can harm you.

Signs of physical abuse:

1. Insomnia
2. Nightmares
3. Self-harming
4. Suicidal ideation
5. Obsessive behaviour
6. Depression

 

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Verbal abuse 

It is a form of abuse where one intentionally criticizes, insults, or humiliates another person and look down upon in a regular pattern.

 

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Emotional abuse 

It is a way to control another human being by using emotions like shame and manipulation. A relationship in which one is continuously being abusive and manipulative. Emotional abuse displays having unrealistic expectations,  Invalidate you, create chaos, emotionally blackmail, and control, and isolate you.

Few types of emotional abuse include

1. Accusations of cheating
2. Constantly arguing
3. Criticism
4. Shaming
5. Silent treatment
6. Withholding affection

 

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Religious abuse 

It is administered under the guise of religion. It includes human sacrifice, initiation rites, modern practices, witch hunts, and psychohistroical explanations.

 

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Economic abuse 

It is a form of abuse where one partner has control over the other person’s economic abuse. It is also knowns as financial abuse. It includes illegal or unauthorized use of a person’s money, pension, and  property

 

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Reproductive abuse 

It is a form of abuse when one controls your reproductive choices in order to control one’s life. It is also known as reproductive coercion. It includes forcing the partner to have sex when the partner does not want to, threatens to end the relationship, forces not to use birth control, and intentionally transfers STI( sexually transmitted infection)

 

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Sexual abuse 

It is a form of abuse done often to perpetrated by using force or taking advantage of another person. It is also known as molestation. The victims here are usually children, people with disabilities, people with dementia, elders, and people in poverty.  It is done because of the position of power. Example: at the workplace being sexually harassed.

Statistics

1. Women and girls

Violations against women and girls are the most prevalent human right violation done worldwide. It’s been said that one in every three women experiences physical or sexual abuse at least once In her lifetime. According to the records, 31.1% of married women experience violence at least once in their lifetime. Females are likely to use less dangerous forms of physical abuse like pushing, punching, slapping, kicking, and scratching.

During the COVID lockdown its been seen that domestic abuse complaints rose by 53% in the first week of the lockdown ( march 23rd – April 1st).

2. Men 

Domestic violence against men includes physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Many men don’t come forward to seek help for various reasons like degradation to their masculinity

3. Same-sex relationship 

Gays, lesbians, and bisexual individuals have a higher risk of domestic violence. Its been seen as a risk factor for abuse in a certain set of populations. LGBT is still illegal in some parts of the world leading to which they don’t have any safety when it comes to domestic violence which refrains them to report a case.

 

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What influences domestic violence? 

Few of the influences are:

1. Legislation

A lack of adequate laws to criminalize domestic violence. One of the most common forms of violence performed on women is by a male partner.

2. inability to leave

The victims need to have the ability to leave to stop this violence. Many women do not leave became of the stigma where they will be rejected and not accepted by society or because of fewer resources.

3. immigration policies

In some parts of the world, immigration policies are tied with if a person is married or not. This might lead to being trapped in a relationship.

 

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Causes:

1. Intergenerational violence

This violence in the family household is seen from generations together. One common aspect of the abuser is that they would have experienced abuse in their childhood. This does not mean that every child who has experienced it will become an abuser, some learn from it. Its been seen that if the children are more physically punished the more aggressive they will become.

2. Substance abuse

Alcohol has been referred to as one of the factors for domestic violence. Heavy drinkers are involved in the most chronic and serious form of aggression.

3. Biological and psychological

It focuses on the psychological and mental traits of the offender. It’s been noticed that psychopathology is one of the common factors among abusers.

4. Social stress

Stress may increase when a person living in a family situation with increased pressure. Stress may be one of the factors that may influence domestic violence. Families living in poverty may experience more domestic violence because of financial stress. Once the man starts to think he is incapable to run the family, he might start substance abuse which leads to domestic violence.

5. Power and control

The abuser thinks he is dominant and can harm the victim in any sort of physical, emotional, and sexual harm to gain control and fear. They cause pain to keep the victim quiet.

6. Culture and traditions

It is has been accepted by most of the households that it is a normal family problem. One of the reasons that hold the victim back from leaving the relationship is the fear of breaking cultural values that the society has created.

 

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Effects on the victim: 

1. Bruises

2. Shortness of breath

3. Sexual dysfunction

4. Menstrual cycle or fertility issues

5. Depression

6. Anxiety

7. Post-traumatic stress disorder

8. Inability to trust

9. Hopelessness

10. Suicidal thoughts

 

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Effects on children: 

1. Fear

2. Anxiety

3. Depression

4. Academic issues.

 

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Prevention:

1. Attend couple therapy.

2. Walk away from that relationship.

3. Never give someone the authority to control your life.

Just a reminder that It is okay to walk away from a relationship that physically and emotionally harms you. You will find your way out no matter what the situation is. You will be okay, there is so much good coming your way. You do not need anybody, you are more than enough for yourself.

 

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Helpline numbers: 

1. Dial 181

2. http://www.cswb.gov.in/contact-us-1

3. http://www.sahelitrust.com/aboutus.asp

4. https://www.jwpindia.org/

5. Dial 112