SAD – SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER

“And then I think, maybe I was meant to be alone.”- Anonymous.

Introduction

How many times have we avoided functions and events because there would be too many people there? Or not just too many, just because there would be people there. We like to go where we want to go and that is okay because we have the choice. But our reasons differ from place to place, and from time to time. This in turn makes all the difference there. I get it. People are scary. Relatives are ruthless. You want to be distant from such negative people. But what about with your friends? To understand social anxiety better, we can take the example of Tyler from the popular Netflix show “13 reasons why”. He felt constant paranoia whenever he was outside his home, his comfort zone. And he could not converse properly with his friends and was always showing self-destructive symptoms. This is why it is necessary that we understand what social anxiety really is. It may or may not be affecting us. But it definitely does affect somebody you know well. Look out for them. And help them. Let’s take a closer look at social anxiety-

What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety disorder is a mental ailment where you feel anxious around people. It is a subtype of anxiety disorder. I believe social anxiety is felt by everybody. At one point, everybody wants to disconnect themselves from people, avoid them and just enjoy solitude for a moment. But the deal-breaker is, most of us feel social anxiety in a subtle way wherein the ones who feel it in extreme require professional help. Social anxiety often leaves a person feeling paranoid and isolated. Such symptoms can lead to a more grave mental illness, such as depression or psychotic disorders. Social anxiety inculcates such habits that a person just distances themselves, and they feel lonely and left out. It is important that we understand the symptoms and help somebody if we can.

The symptoms of social anxiety-

• Avoiding confrontation with people.
• Feeling of sickness or nausea when around people.
• When talking to people, they speak with a soft voice, maintain an erect posture and make very little eye contact.
• They find it very horrifying and scary to go out and be with other people. Especially unknown people.
• They feel awkward around people and have this big inferiority complex around them. Where they feel embarrassed to be around people.
• They show more fear in places where they are likely to be judged.

What leads to social anxiety disorder?

There are many causes which can lead to social anxiety disorder. Some may be because of trauma that we have experienced or some may be genetic, and many more. Let us have a brief look over the causes.

• Hereditary: As I said before, one of the main causes of social anxiety disorder is said to be linked with genetic traits. Somebody in the family who suffered from this ailment could have passed it on to the next generation.
• Trauma: You can feel the social anxiety building up in you after you face some kind of trauma, be it some sort of abuse or the loss of somebody. It is because people will try coming up and talking to you about when you do not want to think about it. So you start avoiding people, and that is when this social anxiety starts taking its hold on you.
• Bad experiences: You are likely to develop social anxiety disorder if you have had some pretty bad experiences in the past. Something like bullying or constantly being made fun of, or something, it can cause you to start feeling social anxiety. Because you feel that you are being judged on the basis of what happened years ago maybe. You will then, never want to meet up with these people because they will remember you in that specific way.
• Making a public appearance: When you have a task given, which requires you to be the centre of attention. It may build an extreme level of social anxiety in you. And you may never want to do that kind of a thing again. Because now social anxiety has taken over you. And you have already developed symptoms for it.

Complications caused by social anxiety-

• You start losing confidence in yourself and develop low self-esteem.
• You have trouble being positive about situations.
• You may start using substances, and at one point overuse them which will lead to other ailments.
• You can develop suicidal tendencies and adopt self-destructive behaviour.
• Your performance at work or at school starts decreasing.
• Thinking that promotes social anxiety:
• Mind reading: Trying to understand what the other person is thinking, especially about you. Is just fuel for building up social anxiety. You think they see what you see in yourself negatively.
• Fortune Telling: Trying to guess your future with the worst outcomes is not only just unhealthy, but it also causes social anxiety because you become so paranoid about people.
• Personalizing: In a very negative way, you make yourself the centre of attention in your head. You think that everybody is thinking about you, in just a really horrible way.
• Catastrophizing: You make an explosion about small things. You can also call this overthinking. A small comment, here and there can make you feel so anxious and lower your level of self-esteem.

How to overcome social anxiety disorder?

Even though it seems that it is tough to overcome social anxiety disorder, it is not impossible. In fact, if you feel that you may be suffering through this disorder, you can try overcoming it by yourself. Here are a few tips on how you can overcome it.

• Attention: Put your attention on to people, not in a negative way. Please no, don’t do that. Pay attention in a genuine way. Try to understand what they are saying and engage in conversations with them.
• Anxiety is invisible: You may think that everybody can see what you are feeling, that you are transparent to them. Well, you are not. Nobody recognizes your anxiety so be a little more confident in yourself. You get to decide who you want to be, not your illnesses.
• Learn mindfulness: Being present at the moment is very important. You do not need to go to your past, nor do you need to worry about your future. The present moment is all that matters.
• You don’t need to perfect: Let go of the pressure you feel to be perfect. You don’t need to meet other people’s expression on how you are supposed to be. You go do your thing and be you.
• Challenge negative thoughts: The thoughts which form in your head which impact you negatively, let go of them. You are the one in control, not them. So have faith in yourself.
• Control breathing: When you start feeling anxious, out in public. Just focus on your breathing. It will help you remain calm and recollect your thoughts.
• Believe in yourself: Start building up confidence in yourself again. You are what you make yourself to be. So make yourself be what you want to be. Do not think of what others may think. Do your best and be happy in it
• Face your fears: I am not trying to tell you that you go head to head with every fear you feel in one day. Take your own time to gain control over your phobias, but do overcome them. They should not be the factor which controls you.
• Have faith: Have faith in yourself and be patient with yourself. Please do not rush yourself into things. Overcoming things takes time and effort and you may feel disheartened if you don’t overcome them in the time given by yourself. That is why believe that you are strong enough to do this.
• Seek professional help: If you feel that your social anxiety is out of your reach, then definitely seek professional help. Go for therapies and start talking about it. You will get the help you need. Just hold on tight.