Let Whoever Think Whatever
Have you ever given a thought about what people think of you? or have you ever worked on your image?
You must have done this to impress your close ones… everyone does the same thing but with different reasons.
Let me tell you – for 13 years, a girl spent her life in different hostels, where the arduous journey of her dream begun, where she felt a reflection of the real-world and where she jumped over all the hurdles of her life, learned life lessons and lifelong friends were made. However, one of the most important things she had learned to say “NO”.
You must be thinking that it’s something silly. How hard it can be to say “no”?
It is wearing and burdensome for the people who don’t get accepted by other people, who don’t have friends. Why is it difficult for these people to say no?
The girl helped people without giving a second thought and because of her this habit or you can say altruistic nature, she was taken for granted. She helped them because she just wanted to feel satisfied (like to get peace of mind), appreciated, or may not be criticized by people around her. But some heartless people misunderstood her kindness and tried to cause harm which led her into serious mental health issues. With the help of therapists and time, she realized where she was lagging and turned her weakness into strengths. Also learned how things work in this uncertain world. Now she doesn’t give a damn about what people think of her. She denies it on their face and she still helps people who are in need but now she started taking precautions in advance. She just can’t stop being a helpful person because of some bad people.
I know it can be hard to walk out of such situations but here are few tips to keep your mental health stable, to protect your peace of mind:-
Learn to say “No”
Each one of us must say No when it is necessary. You don’t have to feel compelled to say yes to everything. You don’t want people to decide for you. When you start to say no, you will face some difficulties but don’t have to feel guilty about anything. Saying no doesn’t mean that you don’t care or you are selfish. No. Because if you don’t say no to a person who has been using you then it’s a complete disrespect to yourself. Don’t compromise, just be true to yourself. Sometimes, saying no can earn you respect from people. So, don’t be afraid that people won’t like you or you are putting your friends and relations on stake. No. You are not antagonizing anyone. It just helps you gain confidence and self-esteem.
Try to read people
Nowadays, it has become prominent to learn how to read people. Not like Robert Pattinson did in the Twilight movie. We don’t have that superpower in real life. It’s not rocket science, we can read people by analyzing their verbal and nonverbal (body language) cues. As no one is going to tell you about their true intentions behind the fake smile mask. So, try to read people. Also, try to analyze not merely what they say but actually who they are. If your vibes don’t match then get away from there. And always remember one thing you have to be open-minded and don’t judge people in haste as it can easily lead you to misread people.
Your actions speak louder than your words
People want you to do well in life but they never want you to do better than them. Just ignore such people and focus on your goals as we all know the world’s famous legends always dreamt of accomplishing big goals. These personalities never bragged about their goals even though they had the potential to get more than what they dreamt of. Like these great people you should be aware of what you can achieve more than you wish for but never show off about your talents. You should be always humble with everyone irrespective of their behavior towards you.
Words can’t describe your true self
Words are merely words. In this uncertain world, people will constantly tell you about your actions, your character, I mean whatever you do or how you act….everything. So, while ignoring negativity it’s a big challenge for you to be yourself. But as I said, it’s not rocket science though it’s not a piece of cake. When you know your true self, it’s easier to take a stand for the right thing. It’s all about mastering how to live life rightfully rather than faking it. If you want to live life according to your terms then you have to trust yourself.
Never tolerate any kind of criticism
When you don’t do anything wrong to yourself then don’t let people do anything wrong with you. When people criticize us, it takes hell a lot of time and energy to convince ourselves that we are not like what people are saying. So, how to handle our emotional state and how to get better? First, you have to be assertive and tell people that their criticism did not do any good and you don’t appreciate it. Don’t let people cross the limits you have set for yourself.
A boy had a girl as his friend who always wanted to go out to the clubs and pesters him about going with her. But he wasn’t interested. It’s not who he was. He doesn’t like to do those things every time. He had no problem going for a drink occasionally or going for a run, but the clubs are not him. So, if he gave in to make his friend happy then he wouldn’t be doing anything good to himself. He didn’t want to compromise with something that makes him miserable.
Anyhow, If he gave in, he wouldn’t be himself. If he fulfills his friend’s needs then what about his inner piece. We struggle most of our life with trying to be who we want and always try to please other people or not do anything that makes people judge us. Most of the time we end up making others happy. We follow others’ expectations and live the life they want. Does it make a person happy??
No, no one can be happy if they don’t know what they want. It’s your life so, try to live it on your terms and conditions. Try to understand the situation and then react. Don’t let others write your story.