PTSD: Post Sexual Assault

“One of his hands came right upon my shoulder and the other started to climb up my thigh before I could even realize what was happening he threw himself upon me and I started to choke and lose my breath and I woke up gasping again in the middle of the night when the clock hit 3, crying breathlessly feeling absolutely guilty and wretched.

I ran to the shower to wash away his touch from off my body, I snatched my shoulder and my thigh and my legs and my existence so vigorously that the cuts began to bleed. I turn my face to my back only to see the mark where you bruised my skin like a scavenger.

I stood up and saw my reflection disgustingly in the mirror and thrashed my hands against it. I screamed. I shrieked. I cried to the top of my voice when my mother came running to the bathroom only to see me in a terrifying state with my hands bleeding and my face red with horror.

She took me to my room and cleaned my wounds while crying and I sat there motionless until she took the pieces of glass out of my wrist. None of us said a word. She took my pills out and gave them to me, took my head and kept it in her lap, ran her fingers through my hair to make me fall asleep.

I was lost in my thoughts again when I felt a teardrop on my cheek, realizing that my mother was weeping helplessly and I hugged her tight crying my heart out.

It’s been 14 days since my dignity was destroyed heinously by you, but every second that passes by makes me relive that torture endlessly.  I am tired of people looking at me with guilt and shame as if it was my fault that I became prey to your lust! Each time that I have to describe how you ripped my modesty, I die a little from within. Each time somebody asks me how am I doing, I want to scream and tell them my agony but I only stay numb.

I don’t seem to have answers to so many questions that I see standing in front of me. I don’t have the strength to face them again. But I will gather myself again and I will fight them with all my might someday when I’ve restored my power. The path is too long and weary but I shall keep walking and walking until I reach out to light.”

PTSD or Post-traumatic stress disorder is a psychiatric disorder that occurs to people who have witnessed or have suffered a traumatic incident. In this article, we are specifically going to focus on PTSD after sexual assaults. Rape, Eve teasing, sexual harassment, sexual assault, sexual abuse etc. are among the major crimes against women and as per reports, the rate of such crimes has increased incredibly over the years. The after-effects of such trauma can cause a great deal of distress for a long period of time. But most people deal with these temporary issues with care and time and get back at life. However, if someone has been facing difficulty in dealing with the issues or if the symptoms get worse, affecting their daily routine for a considerable period of time, then they are likely to have PTSD.

 

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PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECT

Sexual assaults leave a deep mark on the victim’s mental health and they may be traumatized for a long duration. There are many psychological effects of PTSD that are stated below:

• Anxiety, stress and depression: The person might feel anxious and stressed about the incident and sometimes panic attacks may occur when reminded something of that incident. They may also feel anxious and be worried that it could happen again. Assaults also push the victim towards depression where people lose hope, suicidal thoughts may also occur.
• Severe mood swings: The person witnesses severity of emotions or lack of emotions. Their reaction to something may either be very loud or they may not react at all. Anger, frustration, rage may seem to take place inside of them when their emotions are heightened. Excessive crying or sometimes laughing hysterically to vent out their shock may be alarming.
• Attachment/trust issues: Any kind of touch from strangers or family may cause discomfort to the person as it may evoke the memories of the trauma, so trusting people becomes a difficult task. Children who have been assaulted in their childhood often find it difficult to trust somebody in future and adults who have been through the same trauma find it difficult to attach to people or relationships.
• Memory problem: They may have trouble to remember things and may forget important details about the traumatic incident.
• Eating disorders: Sometimes the victim may also suffer from eating disorders like bulimia nervosa or anorexia while trying to cope up.

 

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BEHAVIORAL EFFECT

It is not easy for a person to deal with a disturbing incident like a sexual assault easily because it may cause a great deal of discomfort to remember the incident, so it is very evident to notice abnormal behaviour in the victim. However, if the behaviour becomes self-destructing or self-harming then the victim should be taken care of. The person may isolate themselves, become paranoid and may show extreme aggression. They may be constantly alarmed to sense danger. They may experience a change of emotional state every now and then. There may also be a constant feeling of guilt and shame.

They may use avoidance as their coping mechanism and may often avoid any situation that makes them cross paths with that feeling.

They will have a lack of interest in activities they enjoyed earlier and may find it difficult to form close relationships.

 

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PHYSICAL EFFECT

The person may look sick, tired or dull because of trouble in sleeping, lack of hydration and improper intake of food.

They may look scared and startled usually as if they are trying to look out for all the red signs.

Their health may also deteriorate because of the inadequate pattern of living post-trauma.

Significant weight loss can also be noticed in the victim post-trauma.

 

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SOCIETAL EFFECT

Our society has a way of looking at a victim of a sexual assault in pity or sometimes even disgust. They are looked down with shame as if they are culprits.  Earlier victims of rape were considered as impure and dishonourable in society while they were the ones in suffering in pain!

It is this sick mentality of our society that excludes those victims, look down at them and frown upon their purity that makes it tougher for the survivors to live peacefully in their lives later on. They are not the ones to be disgusted upon, instead, the rapists or assaulters who inflicted this pain upon them are.

 

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WHY MOST VICTIMS NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HAPPENED?

Sexual assault is the fourth most common crime against women in India. According to Asiatimes, a female in India is raped every fifteen minutes. Some of the cases are reported while others fail to ever make it to justice. It is also noticed that many times the assaulter is somehow related to the victim.

In some cases, the assault is so brutal that the victims never make it to life.

Incidents like these are disturbing and traumatizing and sometimes the victims are in denial to accept that something like this has happened to them.

Marital assaults have come into light from some past years, before that, not many people were aware if something like this exists. Women in rural areas and so many in urban areas never knew that they have been sexually abused until they became aware of marital assaults. Even today, a large stratum of our society does not believe that marital rapes or assaults exist.

There have been numerous cases where the assaulter is a family member and more than half of such cases are never recorded in the name of family pride.

Why women never acknowledge that they have been assaulted may have plenty of reasons, the first being shame. Sexual trauma is associated with the high social stigma. Most women feel embarrassed to narrate what happened or they feel that their character would be assassinated. They may be afraid of being criticized or slut-shamed or looked down upon. They may also try to avoid talking about sexual assault in any context, they’ll withdraw themselves from conversations trying to avoid remembering or talking about what happened with them because it causes emotional pain.

The victims may also fear being blamed or not being believed that they have been through that trauma.  They may also have a fear of being punished because they may feel that it’s partly their fault that they had to go through such trauma. They may blame themselves for being partly responsible or may feel that their own actions intrigued their assaulters.

Often, women never come forward to report these crimes to keep up the family’s honour or keep up their dignity. The stereotype that the society has formed about sexual assaults and the victims who have been assaulted makes it tougher for women to open up about it.

India is a land that worships Goddesses and ironically, it is also a land that’s marked unsafe for its women to live in. With all these cases reported, India has made it to the category of top nations unsafe for women. Imagine with all the cases recorded and reported, what would the number of cases be? What would the scenario of the country be?

 

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HOW TO COPE UP WITH THE FEELING

• After an assault, you may experience a range of feelings and reactions that can be immediate, short term or long term. And it is absolutely normal to feel those emotions but what is important is to recover from them soon. You may have a thousand different types of feelings or you may feel emotionally numb you may want to isolate yourself or sleep your day in your bed or do nothing. But what you need to do is try to get yourself into a routine. It may be very tough to get yourself doing activities but making a routine of drinking water, eating good food and giving your body some shake can be enough. We believe baby steps are healthy.
• Trying meditation, yoga or morning walks can calm your mind and bring a healthier impact on your body. Learning self-defence or karate can also be beneficial.
• Healthy communication is very important to deal with issues going in your mind. Try talking about your feelings or opening up to someone about your thoughts. It will relax the tornado of your mind and a lot of emotional burdens that you’d be feeling might be lifted after a good, meaningful conversation.
• Going to a professional therapist for help if you are not able to get yourself back at life is also a very effective coping strategy. You do not need to suffer alone, seeking help does not make you weak or powerless.
• Involve yourself in writing your thoughts or painting them on paper. This can be a great stress buster that will also keep you occupied.

Read self-help or motivational books.

Listen to good music.

Try learning a new skill or polishing old hobbies.

 

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CONCLUSION

Sexual assaults are very traumatic and can leave a stain on your heart for a very long time, but what is important to understand is that this nightmare will come to an end very soon. PTSD is curable with the effective procedure being followed. Nobody will invalidate your suffering and no one will invalidate your sorrow. But you must seek the necessary help.

PTSD may be physically visible upon the victim and it may seem to them that this hurt will never stop but with the right amount of care, affection and love and with the right amount of patience and strength, they will be functioning fine in some time.

Although it may seem to you now that you are scarred for life but that only makes you unique not filthy. There may be no amount of lecture helpful if you don’t try to evolve out of it. It’s your battle, but you do not need to be alone to face it. I know it seems hard but try putting your trust back in people again.  Just keep saying this to yourself that ‘You are a warrior and you will win’.