Conflicting Thoughts; The Battle Within Us

Introduction

Internal conflicts or conflicting thoughts are often a result of frustration towards something. Because you cannot choose what to do and what not to do, you often end up having two opinions on that thing. It is important that we try our best to understand this issue.

“Your worst battle is within what you know and what you feel.”- Anonymous.

There are multiple situations in our lives when we particularly feel torn apart within ourselves. We feel confused, unconfident, upset over how our brain and heart have been at war with each other. It becomes too overwhelming to be the territory over which these two rulers fight. Sometimes our heart wins, and sometimes our brains and often, neither of them. Which tears you apart more. This is why it is necessary to know about these internal conflicts and to recognize them so that you can make the right choices and make it out of this horrendous storm.

What are the conflicting thoughts?

Ambivalence or conflict within ourselves is referred to as the situation of having more than two opinions or reactions about a particular issue, or an event, or an object at the same time. Most of the time it has two sides of view, a negative aspect, and a position aspect. Mixed feelings towards something or someone can also be considered a part of conflicting thoughts. The psychological term for conflicting thoughts is said to be Cognitive Dissonance. It is defined as the unwanted tension that may be a result of multiple conflicting thoughts or because you have been feeling frustration towards a particular object and you cannot choose a side of the conflict to side with.

Causes of Conflicting Thoughts:

Internal conflicts or conflicting thoughts are often a result of frustration towards something. Because you cannot choose what to do and what not to do, you often end up having two opinions on that thing. It is important that we try our best to understand this issue. Here are some main causes of conflicting thoughts.

Dissatisfaction:

Feeling unhappy towards something but trying to find the good in it even when you do not want to is one of the main causes of conflicting thoughts. Many times we are so caught up with trying to catch up with the goals that we often forget to live in the moment. It leaves us discontented with ourselves with how far it is to reach our goal and where we are currently. And it makes us feel uncertain about our future and puts us in a debate with our own choices.

Lack of tolerance:

Not being patient with things and constantly trying to figure out a way faster way around it leads the pathway for internal conflicts. And it is not always finding a shortcut, you may have low tolerance towards a specific thing as well and it may cause you to have an already judged point of view for it. For example, you have a close friend and recently they’ve been acting differently and you cannot tolerate it, you go to war within you trying to figure out a way to not let go of such a friend.

Low Self-esteem:

One of the leading causes of conflicting thoughts is also said to be having low self-esteem. Not being sure about yourself and constantly demeaning yourself often leads to conflicts. Because you have so much potential to reach out for but a part of you is always there, telling you that you are not enough to go for it. You always feel accompanied by a familiar sense of people being better than you and that is why you settle for things which may lead to more serious mental illnesses later.

 

Signs of Conflicting Thoughts:

Feeling Uncomfortable: Having that gut feeling in your stomach, making you feel sick is said to be a sure sign of conflicting thoughts.

Avoiding Confrontation: A lot of us will try running away from our problems as long as we can until it catches up. Avoiding conflicts is a sign of internal conflict.

Ignoring Facts: When we go through conflict, and we have somewhat chosen aside, we often tend to ignore the facts given for that situation. And it leads the way for another internal conflict because now you know you have not acknowledged something and you’re caught between what is and what could have been.

Guilt: Guilt is also said to be a sign of conflicting thoughts. When you do something you find wrong, you are overwhelmed with this feeling of guilt which makes you question yourself and lead you to a very hard battle within yourself where you fight on with whether you should be feeling guilt or whether you should not.

How internal conflicts affect us:

Having conflicting thoughts can have adverse effects on all those individuals who go through it. We have so much focus on the conflict in itself that we often lose sight of what our true intention really is. It leads us to act differently in life.

Mental illnesses: Being constantly at war with yourself has said to have caused mental illnesses like depression and anxiety and many other disorders.

Stress and Frustration: Feeling this way has also said to cause extreme levels of stress and often leads to frustration and a feeling of hopelessness towards the nearing future. This makes us feel sad and discontent with ourselves. We become socially awkward and many times we become paranoid about things because of the conflicting thoughts in our head telling us to act differently.

Affects our choices: Something that is really affected by such thoughts is our ability to make decisions. Going through so much at a time just makes it almost impossible to come to a definite decision and even if it does, it is rare to find some level of confidence in it.

Physical well-being: Extreme levels of conflicting thoughts can really mess with our mental well being. Which in turn affects our physical well being as well. That is why it is essential that we understand the place of internal conflict in our lives.

How to overcome Conflicting Thoughts:

A lot of times we find ourselves amidst a tough competition between various parts of ourselves. Most commonly between our heart and our brain. And it feels impossible to choose between these two. Because they are both right. And being caught up in it, watching a battle from the main point of view can be really taxing. But luckily for us, overcoming these thoughts is not as hard as it could be. And we should try looking for ways to avoid or prevent such thoughts.

Such as:-

Exploring the connection between your emotions and your thoughts:

It is essential that you try finding some common ground between your conflicting emotions. Try understanding what is the root cause for it and try working on that so that the conflict does not stand in the first place and get resolved immediately. Try accepting and overcoming your emotions.

Let go of the guilt:

Let go of the guilt you are feeling towards the conflict. It is alright to have two or more kinds of views towards something even if they are negative or bad. You should never have any guilt towards the way you think of feel because that makes you the person you are.

Stop doubting yourself:

You need to learn to be more confident in your decisions and your choices. Stop second-guessing them. It may feel that the conclusion you have come to is not in sync with your other conflicts but understand that it is okay and that you make your own decisions and you should bring more of you to that decision.

Try not to be influenced:

It is important that you are not easily influenced by others. In such a process people often lose their individuality and fall into conflicts because of somebody else’s opinion.

Be sure of what you value:

It is important to be very sure about what we hold near and dear. Since you have made the decision about your feelings towards a few things, it creates lesser conflicts.

Believe in what you are:

Having a stronghold over who and what you are is helpful. Learn to believe in yourself and try having a positive perspective for yourself and in things you want to do.

Write down your values:

When you write down your values, you always have a written note of what matters to you. So that whenever you lose sight of it, it is always there.

Keep changing your values as you grow:

It is important that as you grow and mature you keep changing your values because even they change and transform into something more.

Try being more positive:

It is crucial to surround yourself with positivity so that you can function better and have a better outlook towards things.

Relaxation techniques:

Trying to find ways to relieve yourself helps. Because it clears your mind and helps you to resolve the conflict.