BLACK AND WHITE FRAMES!!!!
You know when that glint of light gives you a feeling of warmth in the season of winter. You know the happiness when that toddler first uttered “mommy”. When a steaming cup of hot coffee sat there on the table. While you and your best friend gossiped and shared a laugh. When that popping candy juggled between sweet and sour in your mouth leaving an unwanted smile.
Well in those little moments we lived a thousand lives. And that’s how I lived my thousand lives in those arms.
THE UNFULFILLED DREAM
As those sun rays flashed over your face those blemishes on your skin were outrun, that smile that would brighten up everybody’s day when you flipped your hair even the dead plants rose to life. And at that moment I was already in love with you, but then a flash of judgment splashed my face just as the seashore would wash off that sandcastle. Loving someone was not a crime but loving someone of the same sex was. Even if I had confessed my love for you this society would never accept us, the same society who wouldn’t let their own children follow their passion. But still, I gathered all my courage to propose to you and when you said “YES” I was like that 6-year-old child who had finally got the toy she had been longing from her parents for so long.
My parents have always been my supporter’s through thick and thin and I thought that even this big reveal would not let them leave my side. But OH GOD! I was wrong, they abandoned me, they made me feel like loving someone of the same sex was a sin, that my emotions meant nothing to them that I was nothing but a mere disgrace to them.
“No loving you was not a sin but my being born this way was, my feelings towards a girl was a sin, me letting down my parents by loving you was a sin, every moment spent with you was like an ocean of memories. No, you did not fail this world neither did I but our love towards each other failed us. Hope you get someone who is not as coward as me and can hold your hand even though a storm and tell you “IT’S GONNA BE OKAY”.
As I folded this letter with hope in my heart that you will forgive me and even the days I couldn’t live for you will live it on my behalf and make your life worthwhile.
I finally breathed my last breath and joined that army of stars, hoping that at least here in heaven my love for you wouldn’t be seen as a sin. I would be able to live here freely.
THE UNFINISHED PAGE OF DREAMS!!!
Why is that we have to choose over something, your two favorite dishes over your favorite ice-cream, your favorite dress over your favorite brand, your career over what society will think, your love over society’s definition of love.
Our love was like that last unfinished page of love where everybody longed for what will happen next, but the society this very society ate it up alive.
Suicide is something that has been eating our generations. The society has tied us to its norms and regulations and whenever some tries to detour the path they made for us, we are looked down upon, we are seen as sinners and the easy route that we think is giving up our life.
- Globally 80,000 people die of suicide every day.
- 1.4 global deaths in 2017 were from suicide.
- Globally the suicide rate for men is twice as high as women.
- SOURCE: https://ourworldindata.org/suicide
…………..AND THE PAGES TURNED INTO ASHES………..!!
- I sat there looking at the pieces of my writing burn up into ashes, maybe this world didn’t acknowledge my writing’s because they are busy acknowledging the engineer’s who aced their exams, the newly became doctor’s but as this smoke gets diffused within the sky I know those stars, the sun and moon will surely shower me with their blessings.
- Research shows that approximately 90% of people who have died by suicide were suffering from a mental illness at the time.( http://www.childrenshospital.org/conditions-and-treatments/conditions/s/suicide-and-teens/symptoms-and-causes)
- There are a lot of reasons behind as to why people commit suicide some of the major one’s are as follows:
- The most common way to get your mind thinking into suicidal thoughts is a mental illness if someone is experiencing depression, anxiety or any other mental illness he/she is liking to get suicidal succumbed with suicidal thoughts
- A person who has had traumatic stress like that of childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, is at a higher risk of committing suicide.
- Feeling of hopelessness is also one of the major causes of suicide. If someone is struggling through some problems be it personal or impersonal, and the person really doesn’t know what to do or how to come out of the situation that is also a major cause for suicide.
- Sometimes our parents force us to do something which we don’t wanna do or sometimes they have so many expectations from us that we fail to fulfill.
- Leading it to be a major cause of suicide especially in young adults.
SIGNIFICANT LOSS IN ONE’S LIFE
- If someone has had constantly seen his/her loved ones die he/she is also succumbed to end his/her life making it another major cause for it.
- SOURCE: https://www.verywellmind.com/why-do-people-commit-suicide-1067515
AND FROM THE DEAD I ROSE AGAIN!!!!!!
Yes, my castle of dreams was washed over by the strong waves, and yes I thought I wouldn’t be able to put the same castle back in line. I shouted for help but my voice was lost somewhere in those gigantic waves. I had lost all hope, I lied there like a dead body knowing nothing that to do. It’s when I closed my eyes I could my mother’s voice echoed into my ears,
“SOMETIMES FLOWERS FADE BUT IF YOU START WATERING THEM AGAIN THEY PRODUCE A NEW BUD AND A NEW FLOWER STARTS GROWING MUCH STRONGER AND BEAUTIFUL THAN THE ONE THAT DIED.”
At that moment I knew what had to be done. I got up I built a new castle that was much bigger and was more beautifully carved than the previous one, and as much as those waves wanted it destroyed it couldn’t.
That’s how our life will go every time we will try to reach something our ladder of dreams will keep weakening, and sometimes the next step of the ladder would be missing but that doesn’t mean that we can’t reach where we want to or what we want to do. Get up strengthen your ladder again build those missing steps again and again till you finally make the perfect castle on that seashore and make sure nobody can ever destroy it, even if they do get up on your feet again and build a castle bigger than the previous one, that nobody can even eye it or dare to destroy it.
In the end I would like to quote “Hopper” from “Stranger things”:
MAKE MISTAKES, LEARN FROM THEM AND WHEN LIFE HURTS YOU BECAUSE IT WILL-REMEMBER THE HURT IS GOOD, IT MEANS YOU ARE OUT OF THAT CAVE……………