What Happens to then Brain when it is in Love?

“At a touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” – Plato

First of all, “Do you believe in love?” I guess you do. So, if I say you have to spell it out then how would you describe your feelings? It can be a challenging thing to do… whether you have been with someone for a long time or you are in the throes of a blossoming romance. If you genuinely love someone then it can be actually hard to articulate those feelings in front of someone. Like some folk says, Bonafide love can make you feel weak in the knees and you face troubles while talking. Perhaps it’s the best type of love for someone, where a person makes you fall so completely in love that you are powerless to think in a proper way. Though it can become a problem as well.

What do you think which is the more dominant organ for love – Brain or Heart? Anecdotally, it’s the heart but that’s not the case. It’s your most complex organ brain which gets affected by love. I have been always eager to know because it’s a kind of mystery for me. What’s exactly going on in the brain of a person who is being loved or love someone else? How a person could fall in love? What exactly happens in the brain, when they get butterflies in the stomach or When they have tangled feelings of passion and excitement. How do they stay in love? And why the hell they break up when they were so in love? You are familiar with these feelings if you have ever been in love.

Let’s focus on the biological perspective, as it can give us more convenient answers:-

What part of the brain is centered around love?

Prof. Semir Zeki and Andreas Bartels, Ph.D. from University College London did a study in 2000. 17 healthy volunteers (both males and females) participated who reported being deeply, completely, and madly in love with someone. Their brain scans were taken while pictures of their partners were showed. Consequently, when the participants eyed at the face of their partners, some particular areas of the brain got lit up which covered the anterior cingulate cortex, medial insula, and segments of the dorsal striatum. Also, some other areas of the brain appeared to deactivate which included parts of the right prefrontal cortex, the bilateral parietal cortex, and the temporal cortices.

According to researcher Helen Fisher, the caudate nucleus, part of the primitive reptilian brain is exceptionally active in these lovey-dovey participants. And there’s a reason behind why all these people find cuddling so good? Oxytocin, the cuddle hormone which is being produced during an embrace or cuddle makes people calm and relaxed. Oxytocin can be seen in the brain, ovaries, and testicles of an individual. Also, it is thought to be involved in the bonding process among the people. Research has found that a dose of oxytocin reduces headaches particularly and for some people it makes the pain go away completely after four hours. So, it’s certainly worth trying to hug and cuddles medicine with your partner before you jump to pills.

Loving someone can be controlled

As love is complex like our brain. Langeslag and his colleagues did a study in 2016. 32 volunteers participated between the age of 18–30 who were in love, the researchers wanted to assess whether or not these people were able to control their feelings or not. Langeslag said few people think that love is a natural process that shouldn’t be controlled otherwise the love regulation is very difficult or even impossible for people.

She continued and told that people can actually increase or decrease their love feelings for someone. How is it possible? She answered, If an individual wants to reduce his/her feelings of love for someone, they should think about the negative qualities of the other person and the negative qualities of their relation. Also, try to imagine negative future scenarios. Negativity will automatically decrease infatuation, attachment, and vice versa, the researcher explained.

She added, having these negative or positive thoughts will only change your love feeling a little bit, and the effect will wear off after a short period of time. Men and women feel the love in a different way. Women often feel loved while interacting face to face with their partner and men often feel emotionally close to their partners, when they talk side by side. Some people can’t feel love at all. There are people who claim that they have never felt romantic love. They suffer from hypopituitarism, one of the rare diseases that doesn’t permit an individual to feel the rapture of love.

 

Psychological perspective about love

Look at each other and synchronize your heartbeats

According to some researches, a couple who is in love, if they gaze into each other’s eyes for three minutes, it will synchronize their heart rates.

In 4 minutes decide your vibes

Merely 4 minutes are enough to make a good impression on someone. It is believed that it has more contribution to your body language, tone, and speed of your voice rather than exactly what you say to the other person.

Picture of a loved one can relieve your pain

In an experiment, participants were shown the photos of their loved ones and it was noticed in the process that their pain decreased to an extent after gazing at the image of the other person.

Heartbreak is for real

Some research has confirmed that when a person goes through traumatizing events, such as a break-up, divorce, loss of a loved one, or betrayal can be the real reason for physical pain in one’s heart. This is known as Broken Heart Syndrome.

If there is same level of attractiveness, you are more likely to end up together.

Many studies in the field of psychology and social media have disclosed that there is a particular pattern in how people choose people to build a romantic relationship with. The matching Hypothesis explained the pattern that a person shares a level of attractiveness with the other person then they are most probably going to end up together.

• Hold hands together and relieve your pain and stress
• Holding A Loved One’s hand can relieve your pain and stress.
• Love has chemical similarities with OCD

Some studies revealed, at an early stage of love people have low levels of serotonin, which is linked with feelings of happiness, and a high level of cortisol, related to stress. This is highly similar to those people who have OCD which describes why a person acts so differently when they fall for someone.

Boys perspective on love

Love can’t be forced on the other person. It takes time to start the real love and you can’t force the other party to love you. It’s a completely natural process. – Mohit, 20

Love is when girls don’t wear make-up. If you can’t have a conversation with your girl in the morning when she has no makeup on the buddy it’s just lust. – Rahul, 23

When you can talk about poop with the person. Its love, when you are both so comfortable with one another that almost nothing that the other person does bothers you anymore. —Atul, 22

You are in love when you show your emotions. Boys tend to hide their emotions. But they are also emotional wrecks. If he showing his emotions then he is in love. – Ricky, 27

It’s when you realize that you will always have this human being to back you up, to support you. – Ayush, 19

True love is feeling whole. The person makes you feel complete like nothing else in this world matters as long as you have them in your life. – Aryan, 22

Love is when the person becomes second in their own life. Ankit, 24

Girls perspective on love

In real love, people don’t have to show off your love because you know how good it is, and how sad it is that not everyone has what you have. – Mini,22

Real love is when you break down each other’s walls and really, deeply understand that person as much as you do yourself. You talk about everything and no judgment. – Pooja, 22

The difference is maturity—not only of the individuals but the relationship itself. If people can handle relationships like grown-ups, then that’s real love. – Samidha, 23

Real love is always putting the other person first and knowing they will do the same for you. Real love is a choice. – Aishwarya, 22

Love is calmness, physical and emotional attraction, and the ability to withstand change and diversity. – Dinky, 22

Real love is about work for the planet. I believe, we find our soulmate in this life as we both are here to do selfless work for other people. – Priya, 23

Love is all about honesty. When you are ready to do any damn thing for that person. When you share every single detail with them. – Sheetal, 19

You are in love when you feel like he is your soulmate. When you want the person for your whole life. Your soulmate is someone you can’t see yourself without. – Tanisha, 22

Why do people fall in love?

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” – Aristotle

It’s a very basic question that why do we fall in love which makes us act like a complete fool in front of others. People might say that they connected or have some kind of similarity while their friends might say that they feet somewhat comfortable being with a special person. My friends and my brothers fall in love a lot. Like a lot. Let’s find out their reasons to fall in love:-

Compatibility is not physical attraction, chemistry or even similarity between two people. It is the ease or you can say comfort in which two individuals interact and relate to each other. Compatibility is how two people’s energy or vibes combines.

Another reason is as people want to expand beyond themselves. Psychologist Arthur Aron at Stony Brook University did researches which showed that a primary motive for us as human beings to explore the self and to increase their abilities and their effectiveness – He told.

People fall in love because of their hormones. Their heart beats faster and mouth goes dry when new lover rings their doorbell. But It’s just a stress response. Adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin all these chemicals can be seen in love’s early stages.

Cause of conflicts in Love

“Conflict avoidance is not the Hallmark of a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and of poor communication.” – Harriet B. Braiker

• Power and control
• Self-blame
• Justice and fairness
• Narcissism
• Revenge
• Competition
• Anger and bitterness
• Blame Game
• Scapegoating
• Pride and shame
• Truth
• Hidden agendas

Counseling for Relationships

Nobody is perfect in this world, but you some good qualities though. Try to focus on yourself and count on the blessings you already have in your life. If you are struggling and need someone to help to recover from this relationship loss, consider talking to a psychologist. It will surely help you out.

Don’t let love breakup hold you back in your own life. You can talk to a counselor online and help yourself. Online Counselling is useful in ways:-

• Convenient
• Confidential
• Choose the Expert

Conclusion

Once in your lifetime, I believe, everyone finds a person who can completely turn their world upside down. People share things that they have never shared with anyone else and they absorb everything their partner says and actually want to hear more from them. People share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true or it is possible for some, and share disappointments that life has thrown at them. When something wonderful happens, they just can’t wait to tell their partner about it.

They don’t feel embarrassed to cry with their partner, when they are hurt or laugh with them or when they make a fool of themselves. They never hurt their feelings or make them feel insulted, but rather they build them up and show them the things about themselves that make them special and beautiful.