THE FEELING OF GUILT : ITS ESSENCE AND CONSEQUENCES

Guilt is aversive, a self – conscious emotion like embarrassment or shame which involves reflection on oneself focused but at the same time it is also socially admissible. whether real or imaginary.  It can be an emotional response to an action that is perceived as morally wrong , whether real or imaginary. It is normal to feel guilty after committing an act which is perceived as wrong but when it gets overbearing and hinders with daily living then it ca prove to be important to seek help as it can be an indicator of an underlying disease.

WHY DO WE FEEL GUILTY

Guilt arises from the “ conditioning” we receive as children from our family, teachers, friends, etc. Guilt becomes conditioned in our brain as we are taught to seek external approval.  Humans are social beings whose brains are habituated to seek social validations. Some actions are considered “good’ and “ approved” by the society while others are taken to be  “wrong” or “disapproved.” When committing acts of societal denunciations , when a persons behavior clashes with their  ethics , they feel a strong sense of regret and self – condemnation  . There are some principles and values ingrained in us , they can be at personal level or at a social level and acting against it makes us feel an unpleasant emotion which weighs down on our conscious.

HOW DOES GUILT HELP US

Guilt is not necessarily a bad thing even though it is a negative and unpleasant emotion. Guilt and regret can make you realize your lapses and by recognizing your mistakes, you can take a step forward by trying to make good of them, learning from them and walking on a path of self -betterment. Guilt makes people differentiate between right and wrong, which makes society more sustainable and worthwhile. Guilt is something that prevents people from doing certain things or encourage them to do some things (whatever the case may be). True guilt stems from the desire to make things better in the future. It is encouraging as it motivates us to change and not repeat the same mistakes in future. Guilt which is a very basic emotion engraved in human behavior has shaped the human society. Law and order which is a necessity is followed because of two things. One is the fear of punishment and the second is the guilt we feel by committing such acts. This is what makes the world worthwhile, morals, otherwise people would be inconsiderate.

WHAT GUILT DOES TO A PERSON

Excessive and continuous guilt can lead to anxiety and depression. It can feel suffocating and can impose damaging effects on one’s body and mind. It can highly damage the self esteem of the person . It is one of the most basic emotions but at the same time it is highly complex. Its degree varies from person to person . A same situation when faced by different people would cause a different degree (or none) of guilt. People experiencing this might feel like they have done something bad , like they do not deserve forgiveness and this might lead them to put themselves in situations which might harm or punish them because they feel like they deserve it and somehow it would lessen the burden on their conscious. At times it may not even be that persons fault but they are made to believe that somehow it is their fault, the burden on their conscious might be by their own perception of the situation or by someone else manipulating them to believe it.

More than that , the stress that arises from the feeling of guilt can cause serious consequences on a person’s body. Guilt, accumulates and can impose serious harm on a person’s body, it can cultivate stress which can in turn affect the normal functioning of the body. There are changes in the sleep pattern, change in appetite and loss of interest in doing activities which were previously enjoyed.

GUILT IS NORMAL

Everybody makes mistakes, we cannot lead absolutely perfect lives and we are bound to regret some parts of it. When a person is manipulated to experience guilt or has done something which makes them feel guilty. It is as if the good element of us judges the bad element of us. It feels like a weight which suffocates us , we become more paranoid and stat jumping to conclusions, there is loss of concentration and the feeling of worthlessness.

KINDS OF GUILT

NATURAL GUILT: It is a type of guilt one experiences immediately after doing something. It is unambiguous, a person can trace its origin. For example, lying to someone, etc. It can also be excessive when there is serious harm done. The people who feel more guilty are more empathetic. Psychopathy is often associated with being apathetic. A psychopath would commit horrendous crimes and not feel an inch of guilt. It is not entirely a bad emotion as it can help one to acknowledge their mistake and change course.

TOXIC GUILT:  This type of guilt is when the natural guilt intensifies. It is more intense and protracted as it arises from an action that conflicts with your deep rooted morals and ethics. People experiencing this feel as if their actions or thoughts have made them broken or hopeless. Often, the person is not really aware of what they have exactly done which makes the guilt even more agonizing. It is a product of our culture, religious beliefs, family environment and teachings .

EXISTENTIAL GUILT: It basically is the kind of guilt which people experience when they see others sufferings. People recognize how they are more privileged than other people. It could be the guilt of getting a good education while someone less privileged is unable to do so, or it could be the guilt of cutting a couple of trees for the construction of your house. The feeling becomes even worse when existential guilt is combined with toxic guilt. For example, a person whose parents were hateful channeled their anger on one of their kid so this person had sympathized with their sibling but could do very little to help them. That person’s frustration and incapacity results in an overwhelming guilt and responsibility. They feel like everything was their fault, how they could have prevented that from happening and that they deserved it to happen to them and not their sibling. Later, the person could feel that anything wrong that happens is their fault which might be inconsistent and false.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GUILT: There are two kinds of guilt , healthy and unhealthy guilt. Healthy guilt is when you hurt someone or do something “wrong” that you could have avoided. Here, you need to acknowledge your guilt and change your behavior and make amends. Unhealthy guilt is something more irrational. It is where the person has no control over the situation. There is not much a a person can do in this situation, here they should try and adopt a more positive mindset. Guilt can be resolved only when we acknowledge, make amends and accept it. Once you make do everything you can to make amends then you should start to accept it and move forward. A lesson should be learnt but guilt should not let you tie you down. Professional help should be taken if it starts to get overwhelming and interferes with our normal functioning. Mindfulness has proved to be a helpful practice. Positive self to talk should also be done.