Tell-tale signs your friend is mentally struggling

Have you ever felt that after aking your friend the usual ‘how are you’s,’ your friend is, in actuality, not doing fine despite them saying that they are? Do you sometimes feel maybe your friend is going through a hard time, but prefers to hide rather than do anything about it? Understanding that one is mentally struggling is complicated, especially when the signs are not overtly obvious. Moreover, it difficult to differentiate between one feeling down due to the woes of daily life challenges, or one dealing with a more serious issue like anxiety disorder or depression- that requires immediate professional attention.

For many, when asked who they would turn to in times of emotional distress, the answer is their friends. Thus, it’s a no brainer that as their friends, we need to be able to recognize when they are in need of support and need to pave the path towards them gaining professional help. Listed below are a few signs that will help you realise that your friend is possibly struggling mentally. It is important to note that the below signs refer to behaviours that have persisted for a period of time.

• Apathy towards gatherings & social activities (especially if they were social previously)– This refers to your friend engaging in consistent behaviours such as neglecting obligations and procrastinating, especially when the person is usually every responsible and diligent when it comes to their work. Persistent avoidance of social gatherings when they liked hanging out and meeting friends, showing a lack of motivation for events that they would generally be excited about- is a strong sign that your friend is not doing fine.
• Constantly anxious, nervous- While we all may go through situations where we are scared and anxious about what to do, some of us may feel so overly anxious and worried that it adversely affects our daily functioning. For example, your friend may be constantly worried about failing classes in college, so much so that they forget to meet deadlines and attend college. Noticing the problem and steering your fried towards help is key, here.
• Dramatic appetite changes- Seeing your normally big foodie fan friend pick at their food and eat less may be a clear- cut sign that something is troubling them. However, extreme changes in one’s eating habits signify the possibility of them having an eating disorder. As a friend, you being able to notice the changes- such as a sudden drop/gain in weight or obsessive behaviour- however small, is important.
• Mood changes and emotional outbursts – We all have had moments where a cathartic release of pent up emotions helped us feel better, mentally and physically. But for some, this sort of extreme emotional reaction happens on a daily basis, thus showing signs of emotional instability and harmful and ineffective ways of dealing with life’s challenges.
• Withdrawal and isolation- Usually, one withdrawing and isolating themselves from events such as social gatherings or even everyday important events such as work or college; is a symptom of a mental disorder like depression or bipolar disorder. This relatively easy to notice as compared to the others. For example, if you haven’t seen your friend attend college for an extended period of time, it would be a great help to them if you could ask them to meet you or if you could visit them at home. This helps mainly because those who tend to isolate themselves have no one to share their thoughts with.
• Increased use of drugs or alcohol- This is another sign that is easily noticeable. It is also a sign that must be paid attention to and brought to your friends notice as soon as possible. If your friends is heavily reliant and has increased intake of alcohol or drugs by a huge amount, they might have an addiction problem that can possibly lead to more serious issues in the future.
• Thoughts about harming self/ others– This is a sign that requires immediate attention and help. If your friend expresses thoughts about harming themselves or harming someone else, or already have marks showing harm to self, urgent medical and psychological help is a must. While you maybe going against your friends wishes here, it is still an important step to take for their well-being- a fact that they will come to see in the future. The suicide prevention helpline number that can be availed across the country- 9152987821

You may have noticed that your friend is exhibiting some of the above signs. What next? Helping your friend depends in a number of factors. If you have a longstanding relationship with the person, your help and support could be vital in helping them get better. However, if the person is someone you have only gotten to know recently, perhaps requesting help of someone they have known for a longer period of time can be more helpful; because despite you having their well-being in mind, they might just be more comfortable with someone they know better.

What is most important is your persistence to stay by their side as they seek help. Your assistance and support however small, can help someone more than you think. It is important to take care of yourself during this time as well, because you being well will help your friend get better.

References

Skoulding, L.(2016). 9 signs your friend is suffering from a mental illness and what to do about it. Debut. Retrieved from: https://debut.careers/insight/signs-mental-illness/