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PSYCHOLOGY OF REJECTION

“I know that when a door closes, it can desire all doors are closing. A rejection letter can desire everyone will reject us. But a closed-door leads us to clarity. It’s an arrow. Because we cannot undergo that door, we are going to go some place else.

That some other place is your true life.”- Tama J. Kieves

Rejection, acceptance, validation, approval. These all are very similar words for humans. Once in our lives we’ve come upon these feelings or have seen someone close or near and dear ones looking these feelings. Not only humans, even the animals experience them.

For instance, let’s speak about dogs; ever wondered why they have to be petted? And what happens when the owner doesn’t listen to them?

Human being a social animal have the basic have to belong, we depend upon society or social groups for survival together with the wants of positive and long lasting relationships. We evolved to measure in cooperative societies and hence, when dependence increase we search out for acceptance as mechanism of survival but with acceptance comes its evil twin; rejection.

Till the purpose we are accepted, we are fine but the instant rejection comes into play, we feel excluded.

Let’s ponder, are we on the identical page when talking about acceptance and rejection? Because our understanding in on the idea of the experience we had. Some may need felt rejected at their work place, taken with life, in other relationships and therefore the list is endless.

So let’s define acceptance; it’s the method or fact of being received as adequate, valid or suitable and rejection is that the feeling of shame, sadness, and grief people feel after they don’t seem to be accepted by others. The concept of acceptance isn’t to tolerate negative experience but to embrace them fully and without defense.

Man cannot live alone. No man can break shackles of mutual dependence. Abraham Maslow said that the necessity for love and belongingness could be a fundamental human motivation. He said that each one human, even introverts, must be ready to give and receive affection to be psychologically healthy.

People need both stable relationships and satisfying interaction with people in relationships. If either of the 2 missing, people will feel lonely and unhappy. When human is deliberately excluded from social relationship and social interaction what happens is understood as social rejection. Someone is rejected by individuals or entire group of individuals.

The fMRI scan show increased activity in two regions of brain which are concerned with areas of physical pain and our brain corresponds the broken heart not so different from broken arm. To prove now, scientists volunteered people and after medication showed decreased activity in pain in related brain regions when rejected.

People get numb to at least one variety of pain once we numb the opposite kind of pain because rather than creating a completely new system to reply to socially painful events, evolution simply co-opted system for physical pain. It causes anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy and sadness. A minimal level of rejection is inevitable.

The matter when prolonged or consistent, when relationship is very important or when individual is very sensitive to rejection. When rejected by entire group, it’s negative effects particularly when it leads to social isolation. It reduces performance on different intellectual tasks, and may also boost aggression and poor impulse control.

The person is physically affected also because those who routinely feel excluded have a poor quality of sleep and their immune systems don’t function properly.

Rejection are often either active within the type of bullying, teasing, ridiculing or passive by ignoring or giving rebuff. The fear of rejection results in conformity to see pressure and compliance with demand of others. Need of affiliation and social interaction is especially strong under stress. Response to rejection is seeking inclusion elsewhere.

People that get excluded become more sensitive to potential signs of connection, change their behavior accordingly. Others may reply to rejection with anger and lashing out. A downward spiral is made when primary concern is establishing sense of control; he or she may become aggressive as the way to force others to listen.

The process of healing takes a protracted time but the majority eventually recover from pain and acquire over pain and hurt and feeling of rejection. Those that get aggressive are least likely to induce socially accepted. Severity of results is achieved when people are chronically rejected or excluded.

People finally hand over in future thanks to devastation. The sensation of exclusion is often talked through by the psychologists. These are things people don’t want to speak about and if they adapt to behaviors like aggression, it further results in isolation.

Pain of non-chronic rejection could also be easier to alleviate. Psychology also confirms the motivational basis of need for acceptance.

To come in terms with the rejection may be hard and specifically when it’s long run but it’s important to face the reality and take it as a necessary a part of life. Opportunities will come and go but not every opportunity results in success, rejection is inevitable.

People facing rejection right from childhood may become anxious and become susceptible to ADHD and RSD which are attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and rejection sensitive dysphoria. People with RSD are very sensitive to what people might imagine or say about them, they also work flat out to induce recognition or they could stop trying and stay dead set situation where they could get hurt.

This social withdrawal may appear as if phobic neurosis, which could be a serious fear of being embarrassed publicly.

The Greek Philosopher, Aristotle said:

Man naturally, a social animal; a personal who is unsocial naturally and isn’t accidentally is either beneath our notice or over human.

Conclusion

Rejection is a normal phenomenon and comes with the need to be accepted. When we are dependent on someone whether emotionally, psychologically or in any aspect; the need to be accepted by them increases and when the person or the society fails to accept us, their strikes rejection.

Even though the pain of rejection is similar to the physical pain but the effect is more than that of physical pain. Like a coin has two sides; similarly this situation also has two aspects: we realize the pain of rejection when it happens to us, but what we fail to recognize is somewhere or other someone is also feeling the same pain because of us. Learn to accept the rejection and let go.

– By Manvi Verma

What do you think?

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