DOES OPTIMISM HAVE A DARK SIDE?

Before talking about the dark side of optimism, let’s understand what is optimism? Optimism is a way of thinking positively, which requires the conviction that we can only control our happiness and responsible for the same, and that more good things than bad things will keep happening to us. When something negative or bad happened to an optimistic person then they did not consider that event as their fault and claim that it is because of something that is external. Let’s consider an example to have a clear view of optimism. Suppose there is an optimistic lady who was dumped by her boyfriend, so, rather than blaming herself, she will claim that the relationship was not supposed to be the one. So, optimists concentrate more on the positive side of the event rather than the negative one.

Like every story has two sides, so does optimism have. But many of us know the bright side of optimism. So, what you guys think that does optimism have a dark side or not. So, the answer is YES! Let’s find out how. Optimism has a dark side as well, about which we are not aware of yet.  Today, I will talk about the dark side of optimism.

All of us often hear phrases like, don’t overreact, don’t overthink, stay positive, it’s gone be all right one day, and many more when we tell other people about our problems; they brush off our emotions with these phrases. So, why does it happen? Because generally everyone wants to pretend themselves happy and chill and they only welcome good vibes and positive emotions. Indeed, optimism is a solution to all our problems, but it is not the only solution that we have to solve a problem. When someone tries to cover your negative emotions with good vibes and fake happiness then, that positivity is not good. So, there is a term called TOXIC POSITIVITY which means when someone presents himself/herself to be happy and filled with good vibes only and being unaware of his/her real emotions, mental state, and thoughts, no matter what the situation is and assumes the same from others as well.

Just have a look at this above picture. It is the perfect image depicting toxic positivity. In this, the female is showing herself happy and smiling, but her underlying emotions are different – grief, anger, frustration, confusion, excitement, etc.

HOW WILL BE THIS IMPOSED? 

It may be committed either by yourself or others can also do this. You’re doing it on your own. When you’re feeling the other way, instead of showing your real emotions, you start to make your real feelings fade and throw away only hope and positive vibes to other people. You put yourself in a box of happiness to make people believe in you, and then, eventually, you set your limits to that happy box. For example- There are so many people in the world who are suffering from low self-esteem, disappointment, depression, or another similar kind of feelings about which even they are unaware. But they portray themselves to the others as the happiest and blessed people in the world.

Now, others will push it on you when they become absentminded of your own genuine emotions and try to mask them with positive phrases. That does not mean that if someone tries to help you to vent your feelings, then that individual is imposing toxic positivity. Toxic positivity underestimates negative feelings and overestimates the positive emotions that, in turn, comes out to the rejection and avoidance of natural human feelings. You need to understand that who wants to help you or who is imposing toxic positivity on you.

REASONS BEHIND TOXIC POSITIVITY:

• Mental health is yet a social stigma — Many people still consider adverse mental health is associated with lunacy or craziness. For example, there is an injury on your hand and, whenever you want to do something, that injury hurts a lot but, with proper treatment and sufficient time, it will recover and, we all don’t consider that injury as an illness. In the same way, being sad or experiencing negative thoughts is not an illness.
• Embarrassment — We have given such an imbalanced preference to a positive mindset that now everyone tries to depict themselves as a positive individual and, not considering their actual feelings and, expects from others to do the same. We don’t want others to see ourselves as a moaner or complainer; what others think about us is more crucial. Therefore, we always tend to disregard our negative emotional states.
• Suppressive feelings — Sometimes, when any of us eventually plan to open up our box of feelings with someone else, we always end up by listening to words like you are thinking a lot, come on cheer up, don’t lose hope, etc. All this drives us to hide our emotions to others.

Above mentioned points are the underlying reasons behind the emergence of toxic positivity within ourself or others as well.

HOW ONE CAN COPE WITH TOXIC POSITIVITY:

• Stop denying or clogging your feelings.
• Pay attention and affirm how others feel.
• Understand, it’s okay not to be happy always.
• Be rational and practical.
• Build critical and logical thinking.
• Set a limit for someone who provides a verdict on your journey.
• Be honest.
• The goal should of balancing both positive and negative feelings or circumstances.

WAYS TO NOT TO TRANSMIT TOXIC POSITIVITY TO OTHERS:

Humans experience a unique rollercoaster of emotions where not all feelings are awesome but all of them are equally precious and beautiful.

Below are a few points you should do to stop becoming a carrier of toxic positivity:

• Understand more about mental health—Read more about it, discuss with other individuals about these concerns of mental health so that you don’t impose this toxicity upon yourself and others unconsciously.
• Acknowledgment —Acknowledge and embrace all sorts of emotions you or others experience. Don’t forget them, either. You’re not negative if you’re not positive.
• Don’t be a suppressor of emotions — As we all know that suppressed feelings eventually result in depression, anxiety, or sometimes even physical disability.
• Build a safe zone — Let your closely connected ones know, “All emotions are accepted here.” Regularly check them out. Sit down and talk, understand them, and make them realize to accept whatever they are feeling is not wrong and try to give them hope with your little efforts.
• Step out — Discuss with the people to whom you’re close. Try to better evaluate with whom to communicate to and who genuinely listens because approaching someone else can make you a target of toxic positivity. In my outlook, guardians are often the perfect persons you can approach out.

Last, but not the least, learn the difference between constructive optimism and destructive optimism. We ought to be practical when it comes to optimism. You’ve to sort out your issues and face them. The fact is that we are all flawed or faulty, this is undoubtedly real. We all need to experience all feelings, such as hatred, frustration, sadness, joy, etc. and if we don’t do so we’d rather be called a controlled gadget or a machine.

Celebrate an incredibly flawed life, and you’re going to receive bonuses.