FAIR AND LOVELY? A MYTH – RACISM AND ITS EFFECT ON MENTAL HEALTH.

A dark, starry night. I sat under a sheet of starts as the moon clad blanket twinkled in my eyes. I felt the soft grass under my skin, the soft breeze blowing through my hair. The grass crinkled near me. I took a deep breath, and as my lungs were filled with the fresh air of this beautiful night, I held my lover’s hand and slowly closed my eyes. This dark starry night had given me so much to remember. Such a magnificent experience, such beauty in the way I could look my significant other in the eye and confess my love, and how we embraced each other.

A bright morning glow. I wake up to a daylit with the sun’s rays. The golden locks beamed through the sky and touched our faces. I turned and looked into his beautiful brown eyes, they looked like pools of honey reflected by the sun. We woke up to each other on a beautiful sunny day. It was ecstatic.

 

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How can I compare the two?

How can I compare the beauty of my dark, star-lit night with my bright summer morning? They are both beautiful after all, they both brought me joy!

If we cannot compare the beauty of the colours that the universe decides to possess, WHY DO WE COMPARE AND DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN THE BEAUTY RIGHT HERE ON EARTH?

Why do we let these unrealistic standards of fake beauty cloud our judgement?

Why can’t we just be HAPPY with the colour of our skin?

STEREOTYPES, STEREOTYPES EVERYWHERE!

“Beta, ladki ka colour ekdum saaf hai – haan bol do shaadi ke liye!”

“Bahu toh gori-chitti honi chahiye!”

“Dil ki achi hai par rang saavla hai!”

These are the kind of outrageous statements we often hear people say. It may be someone related to you, or a complete stranger but we’ve all heard these words in our lives at some point.

I personally have a wheatish skin tone, and oh, don’t get me started on all the unnecessary beauty tips that I have heard in my life. This form of differentiating on the basis of skin colour, no matter how subtle it maybe- is WRONG.

We see racist stereotypes everywhere. Especially in Bollywood, where an unrealistic standard of beauty is set and every girl is expected to match up to it. There recently was a song with the lyrics “Tujhe dekh ke Goriya, Beyoncé sharma jayegi.”

This line received tons of backlash since it was problematic on a lot of levels and literally promoted colourism and racism. In fact, it received so much hate that the lyrics had to be altered ina way to eliminate the racist content wherein, a “goriya” (fair-skinned girl) could make Beyoncé shy.

RACISM IS THE DIFFERENTIAL TREATMENT GIVEN TO PEOPLE ON THE BASIS OF THEIR APPEARANCE. IT MAY BE YOUR ETHNICITY OR YOUR SKIN COLOUR.

We, as South Asians, have an inbuilt culture of subtle racism around us. We fall into its trap so subconsciously that we do not even realise the harm we are causing to someone’s mental health while we’re at it.

RACISM HAS SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES. IT AFFECTS MENTAL HEALTH NEGATIVELY.

Racism can cause a lack of confidence.

We casually address our friends or family members by calling them names such as “kaala/kaali” or “crow” but we don’t realise that this can cause their self-esteem to drop drastically. It’s just a joke from the way we see it, but the people who go through it have to face it on a daily basis. They suffer in silence and try to cope, without realising that they are just as beautiful as any other person with any skin tone.

Racism may lead to depression.

If you have a piece of paper and you crush it, it gets wrinkled. If you take this piece of paper and keep stepping on it and crush it further – it will cause the paper to get really crinkly. Now it doesn’t matter how hard you try to open this paper and fix it, it will never go back to normal.

The same way, if you are racist towards someone, you harm their mental health and it stays with them. It can grow into a mental illness such as depression or even cause anxiety disorders. Be kind to others, you never know how much your ripple of a joke can create a wave of sadness in someone.

Racism leads to exclusion from social settings.

We may often see that if someone is constantly facing racism among their peer groups, it leads to them being excluded from that social setting altogether. This may lead to loneliness and in turn, cause many mental health issues in the person. This kind of cruelty can spark so much pain within a person and nobody should be subjected to such kind of toxic mental torture.

(TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE)

Being subjected to constant racism can also cause chronic mental health issues that lead to a person experiencing an incessant plethora of negative thoughts. These negative thoughts may manage to stray them away from their livelihood and cause them to fall into a dark downward spiral. They may start having suicidal thoughts and may even try to harm themselves. Thus, we must treat this subject with the utmost sensitivity.

 

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How do you cope with Racism?

1. First of all, if you have been exposed to a great deal of racism in your life, try to speak up about your experience. Share your experience with people so that they empathise with you and understand why it is wrong to put someone through something like that. Instead of keeping all your feelings bottled up, which can cause anger and frustration, open up. Speak up and let people know why it’s wrong to be racist. Many people still think that using the n-word is casual and okay, educate them and try to make them understand why it’s wrong.

2. Foster a strong sense of racial identity.” Studies into racism and its effects on mental health have found that BIPOC who felt strongly about their racial identity were less likely to be distressed by racism and less likely to be physically or mentally affected by it. Therefore, having a well-developed sense of ethnic or racial identity may help blunt or buffer the effects of racism. However, research must continue in this area, as findings are still limited.” – source: medicalnewstoday.com

Be who you are and OWN IT.

3. Lean on friends and family for support. Having a network of people to rely upon for support, advice, and comfort can help people cope with racial discrimination. It can encourage a sense of security and identity and may even reduce negative thoughts and feelings. Some studies have also found that having a strong support network may even help combat depression in some cases.- source: medicalnewstoday.com

If you ever encounter a person who is racist, try to educate them and explain to them why it’s wrong to hold an opinion like that. In the 21st century, we need to learn to be there for each other and kindly educate each other on subjects that we may not be very familiar with.

Tell your friends and family to never use the n-word.

Correct people instead of laughing it off if they make racist comments.

Do not support racism in any way.

If a person still continues to be racist even after being explained the facts- cut them off. You mustn’t have this kind of toxicity around you and you do not deserve to be exposed to such ignorance. It is simply wrong to entertain someone who is blatantly racist and refuses to mend their ways and if you are complicit, it makes you part of the problem too.

Conclusion

I’d like to add that every single person on this planet is beautiful. People admire red roses as much as black roses, so why must we let FAIR AND LOVELY dictate our self worth? We are lovely, inside out – each and every one of us, JUST THE WAY WE ARE.