12 Reasons Behind The Disputes Occurred in Relationships

My relation with you is not like Rain, Which comes and goes away, My relation is like Air, Sometimes Silent but always Around You.

Bury the hatchet:

We are all well-known of different relationships that we came across in our life experiences. Addressing those we are able to disclose that relationships may be of the uncertain span. In some relationships, it shortly becomes noticeable that the two individuals concerned don’t seem to be agreeable and don’t want to spend their lives along, and then the partnership might end within a few months. In different cases, the two individuals are also along for several years or might last for their lives. Independent of the length, relationships invariably related to conflicts. Here we are going to mention the reasons behind confrontations in relationships. So, we are able to bury that hatchet. First of all, let’s catch a glimpse of the relationship.

How can we specify the term relationship:

A relationship refers to the association, connection, interaction, and bond between two or more individuals. There are various shapes of relationships. Four forms of relationships: Family, Friendships, companion, and Romantic relationships. Let’s halt this subject and get into our motive of finding the cause for the conflicts in a relationship.

Conflict during a Relationship:

Conflict during a relationship is also outlined as any disagreement or argument. usually, it’s due to some perceived inequity within the relationship. Why inequities will cause clashes?, are best explained through the researcher’s “Social Exchange Theory.” As per this theory, a relationship can be looked at as a barter system. We tend to create distinct personal sacrifices for the sake of our affiliation and expect a similar, or similar attitudes of sacrifices from our partner. As the extension of this theory, we even have twelve other reasons for conflicts,

1) Inferiority complex:

“People with this complex are sensitive to what others assume and sometimes take offence even once no offence is meant,” skilled counsellor, Nickie lower. Once an individual feels inferior during a relationship, he/she becomes possessive. This is often as a result of the person can’t perceive his/her partner’s preference needs to remain as before. This disturbs one’s inner peace and brings up insecurity feelings, and when they try to say it, there arises an argument. Having an inferior complex suggests that having an array of unhappy feelings, a number of which is able to fuel thoughts. Examine your thoughts, widen your perspective, and challenge emotional thinking will be valuable and effective.

2) Outrageous :

Sadly, the closer we are, we always know the best way to harm them. In anger, that will be specifically done. The partner on the other side of angry attitudes cannot see those hidden feelings, they too often react defensively to the anger itself. The result is a downward spiral with two upset individuals misunderstanding the underlying reasons for why they’re in pain. To avoid this issue try to isolate yourself when you are mad upon something or somebody. Get into a practice of not discussing difficulties while you are furious.

3) Self-blaming:

Taking responsibility when we have chosen an action that upsets others can be a sign of maturity and shows respect for those around us. But it won’t be the case all time, Which means self-blame isn’t about taking responsibility at all. When we feel sorry for yourselves, it forces the other to feel sorry for you, too. It might not be the best way to get attention, but it does the trick. The onslaught of self-blame only stops once you realize that your own feelings of disappointment are legitimate enough to be heard. It’s when you finally tell someone you feel hurt or upset by their behaviour and exactly what they can do to help you feel better that you truly learn whether or not they care enough to change what’s hurting you.

4) Revenge:

According to a study by social psychologist Kevin Carlsmith at Colgate University in Hamilton, N.Y., following through on revenge leads to more feelings of anger and guilt. When your partner does something wrong to you and you can’t do anything about it, it makes you feel powerless and small, you think revenge is one way to take your power back and restore equilibrium. This can be often seen in connections such as siblings. The effect depends on the circumstance when you tend to get your revenge. If it was at the time when your partner is free from troubles then he/she might take it easier but in the case of depression or stress he/she might end up with you.

5) Narcissistic personality:

The person who has this disorder, think they are special and can only link with equally outstanding people. They have a denial to understand the wants and emotions of others. But the individual take advantage of others in order to obtain what they expect from them. While reading their behaviour we can get a thought of how can he/she will be fit for a relationship. However, most of the time, we can’t realize one’s true self instantaneously. When a relationship includes a person with a narcissistic personality it’ll be very pathetic. To bring a person out of it, therapy is the only way.

6) Competing mindset :

Having a playful competing could enhance a flavour to the bond. However, once it prevails to progress, then the connection will begin to deteriorate. Recognize your successes rather analysing and unsatisfying yourselves. An excess amount of sweet is a bitterness, having competitive behaviour is also falls in the same category.

7) Lack of Intimacy :

Being involved in a relationship expects you to be closer to the individual whom you take care of. Closer in the sense you must be ready to get bound together mentally and spiritually. But we fail to validate their emotions when we never thought of their feelings from their perceptions. Lack of intimacy will certainly be an issue for the duration of bonding.

8) Vulnerability :

Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, however, it’s a strength. Being vulnerable in a relationship implies that permitting your partner to understand you fully: your thoughts, feelings, challenges, weaknesses. It may be scary to indicate those sides to your partners out of concern of being judged.

9) Uncompromising:

Do you felt that you always perform what your partner wants you to do? if you think of a relationship you’ll be able to find it. Uncompromising in an affair shows the one-sided thought process by the individual. Modify it by encouraging the other to get involved in the decision by listening to their opinions. because this might make them feel unsatisfactory and the relationship will not be an equalized one. This creates a distance between the partners and a lack of intimacy.

10) Suspicious:

This reason is regularly heard by us in the news. If we take a survey on the causes of divorces, this one is crucial in it. Being continually doubtful on the partner will make you a distrustful person. Trust is the heart of the relationship. When it got hurt it will clearly have an impact on the connection. When you trust your partner and gained their trust you can ask or clarify the doubt you had.

11) Priority:

When your partner values more than you, that too in front of you, a mixed feeling of jealousy, and anger will grow inside. This eventually makes you feel petty on yourself or get angry for being felt inferior by your partner. Whatever may be the feeling the conflict has started between both. Ironically, your partner may not be aware of what he has done and what is happening at present. Acknowledging your partner before others will lead to the progress of intimacy.

12) Misunderstanding :

Identical to being suspicious, misunderstanding of allies is a major cause of conflicts. Seeking the truth can be done by talking to the individual. But the misunderstood won’t be able to listen to the victim. When your partners point out your imperfection, that is because they want you to overcome it not to make you feel depressed. The feel of losing pride before your partner will urge you to defend it. Though it is not meant by the other still, it is taken as an act of mistreating.

Here I’ve given the 12 reasons which you come across in your relationship. This is to confess that just being aware of it, will avoid such situations in your relationship. Precaution, as well as a cure to conflicts, is an open talk between the partners. Always have that talk and put an agreement with yourselves that when the conflict occurs you will have a talk after getting relaxed. Acquire a long-lasting relationship and live a flourishing life.