THE GAMBLE OF TABOOS!!!

The rainbow was seen as a sign of beauty. The calm before a storm but who knew that this rainbow will become a flag of pride a day to celebrate the uniqueness of different genders. Mrs. Aradhya Sharma no longer had to adapt to her husband’s surname. Fuchsia pink, dark pink, light pink now even the boys could tell the difference they no longer were seen as feminine colors. No longer did the women have to wait for getting a ring on their hand to give birth to a child surrogacy had taken over the need of the hour.

OH YES! this is not the fairyland I am talking about but the real world where menstruating women were not seen as impure, where the LGBTQ communities could shout out their hearts and tell about their uniqueness, where no longer did the women had to wake up early in order to decide the breakfast menu, where house husband was the new “OG”.

ACE IT OR YOU ARE TABOOED!!!!

“TOH KYA HUM KEH SAKTE HAIN KI…AAPKI RELATIONSHIP MEIN KIA IS THE MAN…NAHI KIA EK LADKI HAI…AUR MAIN EK LADKA HUN, PAR AAPKE CONFUSION SAMJH SAKTA HUN…..GHAR SAMBHALE TOH KI…BAHAR JAKAR KAAM KARE TO KA…ACCORDING TO HINDUSTANI SABHAYTA.”(KI AND KA-2006 MOVIE)

We all remember this dialogue from the Indian Bollywood movie KI AND KA which subtly makes us see the two faceted nature of our society where taboos related to men women or anything for that matter are still present. But what do we mean by taboos?

let’s explore its meaning:

Taboos can be defined as anything that is restricted or done against a particular culture or religion. Something that is not acceptable in society to talk about or to do it.

( https://www.britannica.com/topic/taboo-sociology).

So in simple words, we can say that taboo is anything which keeps pulling down that rope every time we try to reach higher, it is a demon in our society which slowly and incessantly is hovering over our needs and making us fall onto our face.

TABOOS AROUND THE WORLD

“PAGAL HOGYE HO TUM, AURAT KI KAMAI PAR JEOGE? MARD HO TUM.(KI AND KA-2006 MOVIE)

Again a very heart-wrenching dialogue in the movie KI and KA which very well explains the misogyny against women that women are meant for household chores and the men are meant to handle their job, money, and everything outside the home and this is by far the biggest taboo that is very much prevalent in our society.

If a man is handling some household chores then he is looked down upon. This is just one among many taboos others include the following:

HOMOSEXUALITY: A TABOO FOR MOST URBAN YOUTH

• Though the Supreme court may have legalized same-sex marriages in a historic event on 6th September 2016 still many people in India consider it a taboo. They still don’t consider it as a good thing.
• “AB PYAAR KARNA BHI GUNAH HAI KYA”.
• A 2013 survey conducted by (Pew Research Center) found that acceptance of homosexuality was particularly widespread in countries where religion was less central in people’s lives.
• (https://www.livemint.com/news/india/homosexuality-a-taboo-for-most-urban-youth-1553659318716.html)

Head position:

in Indonesia, it is taboo to have your head higher than an elder person.

HALAL

In Islam you are prohibited from eating off a carnivore, even drinking alcohol is banned is Islam.

• Wine brought as a gift in France is considered as a taboo.
• If a building has a 13th floor in the United States of America or the 4th floor in China is considered as bad luck.
• In Korea, if someone has eaten from a plate then no other person can eat it from that plate as it is considered to be disgusting, bad.
• This one’s for all the lefty out there, it is considered bad to eat with the left hand in India and in many other countries.
• When did stretching and yawning become vulgar, well in Spain it is considered a taboo.

 

Common Social Taboos

There are a number of social taboos prevalent in our country some of them are as follows:

• In Thailand and Arab countries never point your shoes to another person. The shoe or your foot is an unclean part of your body.

CAREER CHOICES🙁 https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-social-taboos-in-India)

• “MERA BETA BADE HOKR ENGINEER BANEGA”.
• This is one of the most prevalent taboos in our society even in today’s time. They are succumbed to either become a doctor or an engineer, no other career choices are given importance to because as it is believed that these careers bring in more money than any other can. And because our society values only Doctor’s or Engineers and no other profession.

DIVORCE:

• Divorce is still seen as a taboo in many societies, it is seen as an undermining or humiliating situation for both the families and for both the girl and boy as individuals. It is also believed that once people are divorced they can’t marry again.
• It is also said that if the marriage isn’t working then make compromises but divorce is not an option.

INTER-CASTE MARRIAGES

• You love a Hindu boy or a Muslim girl you are not allowed to marry them, because obviously our pride, our taboo is more important than feelings, emotions of people, it also considered a taboo because every religion has their different traditions and customs and it will be difficult for both the girl and boy to accept them.

SURROGACY

• Another social taboo in our society is surrogacy, Surrogacy is a method of assisted reproduction where intended parents work with a gestational surrogate who will carry and care for their babies until birth. People go for surrogacy when they aren’t able to extend their family.
• It is considered a taboo because then the child will not have any blood ties with their parents.

PERIODS

• Another very important taboo related to periods is that menstruating women are impure, they are not even allowed in places of worship or in the kitchen because the process is considered impure and if they enter such places they will automatically become impure.
• They have to become pure again to enter these places.

These are some of the examples of social to know more examples about them visit this page: https://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-taboo.html.

SOCIAL TABOOS IN INDIA

Social taboos have been sneaking in our society from time immemorial. It is basically seen in economically underdeveloped countries, women are basically the worst affected by these taboos. some of the prevalent and common social taboos in India are as follows:

ATHEIST

• In a country where from “AEEE BHAGWAAN PAAS KARA DO” TO “UPAR WALA SAB DEKH RAHA” being an atheist is not easy especially in India wherein every corner you find a masjid, church, or temple.
• People look down upon you as if you are committing a crime.

BREASTFEEDING IN PUBLIC

Boys peeing out in the open is not considered a taboo or something bad but if a mother wants’ to breastfeed her child in public you can’t because hello you are a woman and it will be shameful to breastfeed your child out in front of everybody else.

VISIBLE BRA STRAPS

• This is one thing which every girl, every woman must have gone through once in her entire life, listening to item songs and whistling over them isn’t considered anything wrong but if your bra strap is visible by mistake “LOG KYA KAHENGI BETA” “JALDHI SE ANDAR KARO SAB DEKH RAHE HAI”.

ACID ATTACK VICTIMS

• Why is that the victim is always viewed he/she was the one that committed the crime and not the perpetrator even today the acid attack victims are viewed as offenders and looked down upon.

FOLLOWING OUR PASSION

• “LOG KYA KAHENGE KI BETA/BETI HAMARI PHOTOGRAPHER WO BHI WILDLIFE”. Oh, it’s like putting your hands into the fire you are not allowed to follow your passion because apparently “LOG KYA KAHENGE”.

WIVES TALLER THAN HUSBAND

• “Jiski biwi lambi uska bhi bada naam hai” remember this song from one of the Bollywood movies well the song itself explains the nature of it’s taboo.
• Well if you look at it the list is never-ending we can keep going and going on with the list but it’s time we dissolve such issues and work on resolving them.
• SOURCE: https://www.voodly.in/15-indian-taboo-exist-in-society/
• http://www.awagindia.org/social-taboos-that-still-shackle-indian-women/

 

TABOO AND ITS IMPACT ON MENTAL HEALTH

“The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence – From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

• Ever wondered if Simran wasn’t able to catch that train with the love of her love, what if Bunny never followed her dreams because he was on his periods. Or if KI AND KA weren’t about breaking taboos would it have been a blockbuster?
• We use makeup to cover our blemishes, the foundation to cover our dark circles, the mascara to make our eyes beautiful, we apply makeup to ooze other people and also so that we look good to ourselves firstly,
• Well, mental health is like the makeup which makes you feel good for yourself, if the right amount of foundation is not applied then it makes our face look like that person from a horror movie well same applies to your mental health we need to start looking more towards our mental health,
• Such as eating food makes us healthy, looking towards our mental health makes us whole as a person.

Some More

• And this mental health can get severely affected by our very own “BEST FRIEND TABOOS”. Let me here quote an example as to how taboo can lead to damaging effects on our mental health. This is from my personal experience.
• “I always wanted to pursue a career in Photography I wanted to take Arts in my 11th and 12th because it would open my area of opportunities in the field of creative arts, but as it is a taboo in our society if you don’t take Science or Mathematics you can’t really prosper in your life, everyday I and my parents used to have a discussion over it as to how I would be paid less in this field and how the society will look down upon me and how my friends would become some great doctors and I would be still struggling with my career, this everyday discussion and brainwashing had a severe impact on my mental health.
• I started to overthink situations I started to go into depression and I really couldn’t figure out as to what should I do or not. It had a big toll on my mental health my sleeping schedule was disturbed, my diet was disturbed and other changes.”
• So in short it’s time we let go of “TABOOS AND LIVE THEIR LIFE AND LET US LIVE OURS”. It’s time the bunny inside all of us chase after our dreams and bury these taboos deep down into the grave.

SOCIAL NORMS THEORY

“MEANING AND PROBLEMS”

Social norms in simple language can be prescribed as actions that somewhat affect our behavior. They can vary from culture to culture and can change over a period of time.

PROBLEMS WITH SOCIAL NORMS

• In today’s world social norms exist almost in all societies, they can either have a positive-negative or no impact. If we see they don’t pose a problem as such to us but it can only become a problem when it is damaging certain values of groups.
• For example, back in time women were supposed to be the care taker’s of their house and weren’t allowed to go out and work, but now they can freely work inside the homes as well outside the homes.

SOCIAL NORMS THEORY

• H.W. Perkins and A.D. Berkowitz(1986) developed a Social Norm Theory to reduce alcohol consumption and related injuries in college students, And the theory of social norms has since turned to other health topics, such as tobacco use and the prevention of sexual assault, because of its effectiveness.
• This theory focuses on the environment and peers’ influence to correct misperception which leads to problematic behaviors. In youth, misperceptions occur when perceived norms start affecting behavior more than the actual norms. Problematic behaviors can be decreased by giving accurate information about the group norm of one’s peer, consequently, it also increases the desired behavior among youth.
• Another study on Perception vs. Reality(2013) by applying social norm theory showed that college students were in disbelief that their peers are consuming far more tobacco, marijuana, and alcohol at social events. With misperceptions corrected and accurate data about the behavior of their peers in hand, college students are less likely to overindulge, engage in risky behavior, or experiment with illegal drugs.

SOURCE: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/social-norms

Challenges faced with insuring mental illness

Well, insuring mental illness can be of a tedious task especially when we live in a society where mental illness isn’t given much importance to, as much as physical health is. The diagnosis for mental health conditions is not as easy as it is for physical health, it takes time for the person itself to know what’s actually happening, unlike physical illness where just by checking the temperature of a person you can tell whether he/she is having a cold/flu or not.

The stigma against mental health also makes it difficult for a patient to come out in the open, also because the treatments of curing mental illnesses is so costly that many people don’t come out in the open and try curing it in their own ways. The way it is portrayed onscreen in movies or T.V. shows also doesn’t really give out a helping hand.

SOURCE: https://www.swissre.com/risk-knowledge/risk-perspectives-blog/world-mental-health-day-preventing-breaking-taboos.html

 

“JAA TABOOS JAA JEE LE APNI ZINDAGI”

Even Bau Ji let go of Simran and she is now living happily with Raj. When are we letting these taboos go of our society and breath them in peace? I know even Simran had to fight against all odds to get on that train with Raj but if there is a Simran inside all of us then we can surely let go of taboos and make them “R.I.P”. It’s gonna be a difficult journey but what’s the fun in getting something so easily.

As it is said in the song “JAB KOI NHI THA TAB WO THA MERE SAATH” (KUN FAYA KUN-MOVIE-ROCKSTAR). Yes nobody’s gonna fight this war for you but it’s only you who can help yourself. Taboos aren’t only pulling our rope down to success but also it’s pulling our society towards degradation, mental health issues. It’s like a game of gamble you ace it or you are left with taboos.

IT’S TIME FOR SUICIDE SQUAD TO ASSEMBLE AND KILL THE MONSTER OF TABOO AND SAVE THE WORLD!!!!!