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Signs that you maybe dating a narcissist

Are you familiar with Regina George from Mean Girls, or Miranda Priestly from The Devil wears Prada? Both characters illustrate how they will manipulate, induce fear and intimidate others as much as they need to, in order to achieve their own goals. In other words, both are clear examples of movie characters with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is one of the many types of personality disorders where in the person has a very inflated sense of self-importance, with a strong need of admiration and attention. It is important to note that there is a major difference between self-love and narcissism. People with NPD love a very grandiose and unrealistic version of themselves; as a way to avoid any feelings of insecurity.

NPD includes a pattern of arrogant self- centred thinking, along with a lack of empathy for other people. Key traits include being cocky, selfish, manipulative and demanding. Narcissists tend to always blame other people, and are extremely sensitive even to the slightest criticisms. Thus, people who are a part of a narcissist’s life just tend to go along with the narcissist to avoid the rage and coldness.

Even with the knowledge of some of the traits and symptoms according to the DSM-5 criteria, it is not easy to spot someone with NPD, even more so if you are romantically involved with them. You cannot be sure unless a person is diagnosed with the disorder by a clinical expert. However, if you have an inkling of a doubt or are concerned about your health as well of your partner’s, listed below are few signs of NPD that you look out for:

  • They were oh so charming and lovely…. at first

It was like a fairy tale in the beginning. They always called and texted you, and showered you with love and affection. They tell you that you are the only one for them, even though it hasn’t been long since you started seeing each other. But, after a while, as soon as you do something that upsets them- they turn on you; and this is without them telling you what you did wrong. And, this continues to persist.

  • They hog the conversation and go on about how great they are

Narcissists feel the need to talk about themselves and their own accomplishments. That is mainly because of the need to feel like they are better and smarter than anyone else, and also to deal with their own insecurities. They may also exaggerate their talents and accomplishments as a way to get more adoration from others. In other words, when it comes to the relationship- they so busy talking about themselves that they disregard talking about you.

  • They pick on you

At the beginning you may think that it is just light teasing, but then it gets really rude, mean and constant. This may include them calling you names, or making jokes that ae more hurtful than funny. The aim is to lower someone else’s self-esteem as a way to increase theirs. What’s more, reacting to all that they say could reinforce such behaviour because it makes them feel powerful enough to affect someone’s emotional state.

  • They lack empathy

The lack of empathy is a key characteristic of a narcissist. They tend to lack the skills that will make you feel understood, validated and accepted because they cannot really grasp the meaning of feelings. In other words, do they give you a sense of comfort when you need it after returning from a bad day at work? Or are they bored when you talk about what makes you mad or sad? Research indicates that its this inability to empathize that leads to narcissists not having any stable relationships.

  • You feel like if you speak your mind, you will jeopardize the relationship

As narcissists are generally interested only in themselves, they always put their needs first. This means that the conditions to keep the relationship afloat tend to increase the longer you date. “You might find yourself being more controlled and isolated from things that matter, and you tend to catch yourself second-guessing all the time- all of which show that you may be in a narcissistic relationship,” says Dr. Ramani Durvasala, a licensed clinical professional, in conversation with Insider. Moreover, if you bring up any sort of unfair treatment, they might just gaslight you. Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation whereby you are forced to question your own beliefs and perceptions.

The above few signs are just few of the many; and you feel that your partner perhaps has NPD, consulting a psychologist as soon as possible is important. This is mainly for your sake, because being in a relationship with a narcissist can be really unhealthy and toxic; and hence, cutting ties is probably for the best. That is because essentially, for most narcissists- you will never be enough, since they are not enough for their own selves.

P.S. This article is should not be used for a diagnosis of your partner. It is more a guideline highlighting possible unacceptable behaviours and reactions if in relationship with a person with NPD. The main aim is to lead you to understand while you are not be responsible for your partner’s health and behaviour, you are responsible for your own.  


Lopez, C. (2020). 4 signs you’re dating a narcissist, and what to do about it. Insider. Retrieved from:,these%20are%20all%20red%20flags.

What do you think?

531 Points

Written by Simone Morarka

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Ilhaam Shaik

Very well written!

Rizul Gupta

This is a real eye-opener for all the people who are in a relationship with somebody.
Very informative and a must-read!

Prakriti Sanganeria

It was really nice to know how we could identify a narcissist. Could you tell us about how we can break it off from them because they are usually too mighty and also overpower women. They might not take the rejection well and many things might happen. Thank you for such an informative article.

Amrita Jain

I like your article. It was simple to understand and clear points were mentioned. I even like the examples you put forward so that it goes simple to relate. Still i felt you can include details like diagnostic criteria according to DSM-5 and so.


That was new to me, it would be good if you give an wide angle perspective


The relatable examples with an appropriate mention of its definition gave a good start to the article. The pointers that followed gave a quick summary of the article to the reader. Also, they were explained very well.

Kritika Bhair

This reminds me of one of our assignments given to us in our final year of graduation
Which was about character analysis of a movie character
You explained the whole disorder in a very systematic way!!
Good luck

Nishitha S

short and crisp, easily understandable writing, I was always trying to know more about being a narcissits and this article was a good reading, i’ve seen many people adding narcissits in their bio on various social media platforms so question here is do they know they are narcissits or do they misuse the word for self love. i would suggest you to include that topic next time you decide to write a topic on it. would love to read upon 🙂

Ragini Prasad

The article was very informative and detailed with good knowledgeable facts.


This is a really well-written piece, love the references. 😉

Iarisa Nongbet

Good job. Very helpful.

Femitha Rachel Ebby

Something I was searching for… 🙂 All this while, I’ve been reading about relationship conflicts and stress. At some point, I was like “what about the traits that make someone the way they behave?” Thankfully indeed, I stumbled upon this piece. It’s wonderfull written. Dating a narcissist could be really bad for one’s mental health and you have made your points really crisp with no vagueness involved.
There are no many sources available on how to get narcissism under control. Therapy is an option, yes! But the primary problem in narcissism is the fact that there is no much insight involved. The person believes he or she is perfect and doesn’t really feel the need to attend therapy sessions. How would we deal with such a situation? As you’ve mentioned, narcissists often bother others than themselves. When you’re planning on writing something new, it’d be lovely if you could take this into consideration. Looking forward to reading more.

vrinda tuteja

Easily understandable content. Love the writing. Love how you’ve taken up the most legendary character of Regina George as reference to make your piece easily conveyable. Thank you for writing this particular piece.


This is so real, narcissistic people can be found in all walks of life, they can come as your family, friends etc. it is important to distance yourself from people who hurt you and pull you down.

Manasi Gujarathi

This was very well written and easy to understand.

Vanshika sharma

Great article well done!


I’m so grateful to have read this post! I know so many people around me who would benefit from this information and I think you did a wonderful job of putting in your point, message and information across in the simplest way so everyone can understand, I appreciate that because I think everyone in the new generation must give this post a read.

Sukrutha Mudhol

Brilliant job ! explaining the psychology of narcissistic personality is indeed not simple.
The characteristics have been explained clearly in lay man’s words.
I appreciate your efforts for not missing out anything major. The way you’ve narrated every paragraph is simply superb.

Sakthiswaari R M D

Your article was truly an eye-opener for those who are in a relationship. This article can be taken as an advice for those who are in a relationship or those who are going o be in a relationship.
thank you so much for enlightening us with you tips.

Kirti manaktala

I’ve always found articles like these interesting because they are very informative, concise and engaging.. and same was the case with yours and as a cherry on top it was so well formatted, easy to read and well researched.
Looking forward to reading more content from you.
Stay safe and take care.


Eyeopening to those who are in relationship. Very well done .good job 🙂


I think the overall article was very knowledgeable and informative. The only suggestion I had was maybe also include the different types of naricisstic personality present. I think this would give an insight and further help understand narcissistic personality better. Other than that, I dont have any suggestions. Overall, this is a very well written article.

Sani Lavakush

Thanking you for this article! I think it’s such an eye opening article for so many people! But I think you should also mention its origin or the different types of narcissist personality. Other than this, perfect.


It is indeed very difficult to spot a narcissist. Not only in relationships but also other places (like home , school, or work.) and one thing Narcissists are very good at is gaslighting. They will make their victims believe that they’re not worth anything. And if the victim rebels or lashes out, they’ll use the victim card to bring them down. They’ll say things like “I’m the one who’s stupid. You’re right I don’t deserve you” or ” yeah, I should actually kill myself for letting you down”, and it’s not actually their lie self esteem, they say this only to keep their victims close and stop them from leaving. Another interesting fact about NPD is that we read books like Jekyll and Hyde and think it’s DID Or MPD. But then it’s just NPD with Dr. Jekyll trying to lure their prey. Loved your post. Would like to discuss more!

Sneha Goswami

Hi Simone Morarka!
This was the first article that I have read related to this topic. I did not know that there was a condition as such. Frankly, I love how you have described each and every point with an explanation and example which is very apt. It, however, would have been great if you supported your arguments with an example. Other than that, your article is just perfect. Also, the opening line of your article with reference to the movie, ‘Mean Girls’ is very eye-catching as it automatically gives us an idea of what we are going to read.
An interesting read, indeed!
Best wishes,


Amazing article and I am sure there would be many who are dealing with something similar but didn’t know what it actually was. I like how all the points and describe and starting of the article definitely catches your attention. It would be better if you would have supported your points based on actual research

Divya Chopade

Very good & informative !
Thank you for enlightening us with your article ❤️

Aparna Jayachandran

Hey, this is a very well written article and also i feel in today’s time this topic has started to come into light. I can totally relate to this article as i recently dealt with a friend who was narcissist. The worst part was i myself took so much time to realize this fact even though there were red flags all along the friendship. But i choose to ignore it in the name of friendship and i guess that is the biggest mistake that i have done. We fail to understand whether a person is narcissist because they tend to portray self love. And in today’s time we feel that everyone deserves self love. But we fail to differentiate between self love and self obsession.
This article makes that point very clear!!.

Trisha Baunthiyal

Spot on and comprehensible!
Very smart of you to give the mean girls example so that it would be easier to understand the article. However, it could’ve been better if you’d have given a case study example. Other than that, everything was perfect

Disha Dhage

This is a really well-written.
Loved how yo mentioned the refernce.
A suggestion,you could have added some more information from DSM5 and some pictures too.
overall,nicely written.

Vanshika Kothari

really enjoyed reading your article 🙂

Elon bhengra

hey i liked the topic on which you have written the article. Nowadays we can see this type of disorder in a person. I really liked how you have given link for articles

Gauri Kakar

This article had me absolutely hooked. It was so informative, engaging and super interesting.


Hahaha Simone, Thank you so much for resucing me.Your article will definitely help me.

Prachi Piryani

WOW Simone. Something very unique and new I got to know from your article. Also how amazingly you mentioned all the necessary details and excluded all the unnecessary ones. Good job. There is a very thin line between self love and NPD. When you love yourself in the right amount you love others too and are empathetic towards them. You mentioned the references too so kudos for that. Some tips :
* Trying adding 1-2 flowcharts in your article. It really helps making an article informative and short and easy to read.
*Also at the end you could’ve added a case study that shows the difference between self love and NPD so that it is clear for the reader and they don’t get confuse.
That’s it.
Thanks for teaching me something new.


Thank you for this article. It was quite detailed and very interesting. However could you please conclude better next time?

Jigyasa vashistha

You said it all. Narcissist are few of those people even psychologist don’t wanna deal with them. They are really hard to deal with people. Very important to identify such people & stay away from them if possible, else to set boundaries for self. Also it is a real term.

Pooja Gupta

It is such an amazing article! I think the ones who have understood the meaning of self love in an inappropriate way must read this article. You have correctly put the fact forward saying that those people are very cocky and manipulative . May be you could also talk about gas-lighting. Also, a case study would add stars to the article.


Well written and also like the reminder at the end.

Andrea Shannon

Brilliant writing and insightful


hey, the article was really crisp and on point. and to say that it was very intresting to read wouldn’t be wrong too. great work bud.

Bushra Khan

Extremely informative and very well written!


This was such an important and informative article! Love the little headings for each paragraph! Thank you so much for such vital and valuable information! Cheers!

Yashaswini Bhat

This article is amazingly written and the topic is eye catchy .loved the way you structured it . keep up the good work.

Deepa udasi

Well written

Riya Rajkotiya

Brilliantly written

Manvi Verma

Very informative article. I wish I could use it but still very good and highly informative insights.

Really good article! I enjoyed it, it was so well-researched!


this was a very informative article!

Joanna Ann Daniel

Now I have to go back and check my people, haha. But very well written I must say!:)

Jigyasa vashistha

this is such a wonderful article!! thanks for writing 🙂