THE SECRET POWER OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

In the contemporary world, being emotionally intelligent is considered to be an utmost quality. Along with the academic excellence, persons who possess emotional intelligence are preferred for leadership qualities and other areas.

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. A person who is emotionally intelligent should be able to identify, understand and manage her/his emotions as well as others also. Being emotionally intelligent is not limited to oneself but also extended to understand your surroundings.

Possessing emotional intelligence is like a secret ingredient in the recipe which is essential for fulfilling the basic criteria of its taste. Emotional intelligence is generally said to include at least three skills: emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions; the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and helping others to do the same.

In the busy schedule of attending classes, tutorials, coaching classes, assignments and exams most of the students not only fail to understand others’ emotions but forget to take care of their own mental health and emotions!!

Our education has always emphasized on academic results, but this is not all we need to get success in our life. Exceptionally, students performing very well in schools and called as best students not able to handle the college / peer pressure. Emotions do affect how and what we learn. Being more aware of our emotions and reaction to it will help us manage the stress. Once we learn to understand our emotions we will be able to communicate better.

Undoubtedly, emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at school and work, and achieve your career and personal goals. It can also help you to connect with your feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to you.

The term “emotional intelligence” became widely popular with the publication of  Goleman’s book ‘Emotional Intelligence – Why it can matter more than IQ’ in 1995.

Emotional intelligence (EI) has been defined, by Peter Salovey and John Mayer, as “the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior”. Emotional intelligence also reflects abilities to join intelligence, empathy and emotions to enhance thought and understanding of interpersonal dynamics. Different models of EI have led to the development of various instruments for the assessment of the construct. While some of these measures may overlap, most researchers agree that they tap different constructs.

Models to understand the concept of Emotional Intelligence

Ability model

The ability to perceive emotion, integrate emotion to facilitate thought, understand emotions and to regulate emotions to promote personal growth. It includes the abilities to accurately perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth.

The ability-based model views emotions as useful sources of information that help one to make sense of and navigate the social environment. The model proposes that individuals vary in their ability to process information of an emotional nature and in their ability to relate emotional processing to a wider cognition. The model claims that EI includes four types of abilities:

Perceiving emotions – the ability to detect and decipher emotions in faces, pictures, voices, and cultural artifacts—including the ability to identify one’s own emotions. Perceiving emotions represents a basic aspect of emotional intelligence, as it makes all other processing of emotional information possible.

Using emotions – the ability to harness emotions to facilitate various cognitive activities, such as thinking and problem-solving. The emotionally intelligent person can capitalize fully upon his or her changing moods in order to best fit the task at hand.

Understanding emotions – the ability to comprehend emotion language and to appreciate complicated relationships among emotions. For example, understanding emotions encompasses the ability to be sensitive to slight variations between emotions, and the ability to recognize and describe how emotions evolve over time.

Managing emotions – the ability to regulate emotions in both ourselves and in others. Therefore, the emotionally intelligent person can harness emotions, even negative ones, and manage them to achieve intended goals.

Mixed model

The model introduced by Daniel Goleman focuses on EI as a wide array of competencies and skills that drive leadership performance. Goleman’s model outlines five main EI constructs (for more details see “What Makes A Leader” by Daniel Goleman, best of Harvard Business Review 1998):

Self-awareness – the ability to know one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values and goals and recognize their impact on others while using  gut feelings to guide decisions.

Self-regulation – involves controlling or redirecting one’s disruptive emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.

Social skill – managing relationships to get along with others

Empathy – considering other people’s feelings especially when making decisions

Motivation – being aware of what motivates them.

Goleman includes a set of emotional competencies within each construct of EI. Emotional competencies are not innate talents, but rather learned capabilities that must be worked on and can be developed to achieve outstanding performance. Goleman posits that individuals are born with a general emotional intelligence that determines their potential for learning emotional competencies.

Trait model

It proposed a conceptual distinction between the ability based model and a trait based model of EI and has been developing the latter over many years in numerous publications.

In lay terms, trait EI refers to an individual’s self-perceptions of their emotional abilities. This definition of EI encompasses behavioral dispositions and self-perceived abilities

The conceptualization of EI as a personality trait leads to a construct that lies outside the taxonomy of human cognitive ability. This is an important distinction in as much as it bears directly on the operationalization of the construct and the theories and hypotheses that are formulated about it.

What Does It Mean to Be Emotionally Intelligent?

An emotionally intelligent individual is both highly conscious of his or her own emotional states, even negativity—frustration, sadness, or something more subtle—and able to identify and manage them. Such people are especially tuned in to the emotions that others experience. It’s understandable that a sensitivity to emotional signals both from within oneself and from one’s social environment could make one a better friend, parent, leader or romantic partner. Fortunately, these skills can be honed.

Attributes of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by following attributes:

Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.

Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.

Social awareness or empathy– Emotionally intelligent people are good at stepping into another person’s shoes and understanding how they feel. Empathy is more than just recognizing how others are feeling. It also involves how you respond to these emotions. In the workplace, empathy allows you to understand the different dynamics between colleagues and supervisors. It also allows you to recognize who holds power and how it influences the behaviors, feelings, and interactions that flow from such relationships. It can be challenging at times, especially if you feel like the other person is wrong. But rather than let disagreements build up into major conflicts, spend time looking at the situation from another’s perspective. It can be a great first step toward finding a middle ground between two opposing points of view.

Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team and manage conflict. Any relationships not nudged toward the kind of growth you want will drift into change of another kind—maybe one you don’t want. When you have a high EQ, you’re liberated from ruts and resignation, and you can get down to resourceful problem solving. You can meet differences between you and unavoidable crises, as invitations to find each other, challenges to get closer and emerge individually and collectively stronger.

 Why is emotional intelligence so important?

As we know, it’s not the smartest people who are the most successful or the most fulfilled in life. You probably know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful at work or in their personal relationships. Intellectual ability or your intelligence quotient (IQ) isn’t enough on its own to achieve success in life. Yes, your IQ can help you get into college, but it’s your EQ (Emotional Quotient) that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing your final exams. IQ and EQ exist in tandem and are most effective when they build off one another. Therefore, emotional intelligence is comparatively considered highly important than intelligence.

Emotionally intelligent students tend to be more intelligent as well as more conscientious. Students who can understand emotions can accurately label their own and others’ emotions. They know what causes emotions, how emotions change and how they combine. Students who can manage emotions know how to regulate their emotions in a stressful situation. They also know what to do to maintain good social relationships with others.

Emotional intelligence is widely recognized as a valuable skill that helps improve communication, management, problem-solving, and relationships within the workplace. It is also a skill that researchers believe can be improved with training and practice.

Impact of Emotional intelligence 

Being emotionally intelligent affects miscellaneous areas of our life. The following are some areas where emotional intelligence impacts:

Performance at school or work- High emotional intelligence can help you navigate the social complexities of the workplace, lead and motivate others, and excel in your career. In fact, when it comes to gauging important job candidates, many companies now rate emotional intelligence as important as technical ability and employ EQ testing before hiring.

Physical health- If you’re unable to manage your emotions, you are probably not managing your stress either. This can lead to serious health problems. Uncontrolled stress raises blood pressure, suppresses the immune system, increases the risk of heart attacks and strokes, contributes to infertility, and speeds up the aging process. The first step to improving emotional intelligence is to learn how to manage stress.

Mental health- Uncontrolled emotions and stress can also impact your mental health, making you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you are unable to understand, get comfortable with, or manage your emotions, you’ll also struggle to form strong relationships. This in turn can leave you feeling lonely and isolated and further exacerbate any mental health problems.

Relationships- By understanding your emotions and how to control them, you’re better able to express how you feel and understand how others are feeling. This allows you to communicate more effectively and forge stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life.

Social intelligence- Being in tune with your emotions serves a social purpose, connecting you to other people and the world around you. Social intelligence enables you to recognize friend from foe, measure another person’s interest in you, reduce stress, balance your nervous system through social communication, and feel loved and happy.

How to improve your emotional intelligence

Reflect on your emotions. This is where self-awareness begins. To grow in emotional intelligence, think about your own emotions and how you typically react to negative situations, whether they involve a co-worker, family member or stranger. When you’re more aware of your emotions and typical reactions, you can start to control them.

Ask for perspective. What we perceive to be reality is often quite different from what those around us are seeing. Start getting input from others to understand how you come across in emotionally charged situations.

Observe. Once you’ve increased your self-awareness and you understand how you’re coming across, pay more attention to your emotions.

Pause for a moment. Stop and think before you act or speak. It’s hard to do, but keep working at it and it will become a habit.

Become more empathetic by understanding the “why.” Try to understand the “why” behind another person’s feelings or emotions.

Choose to learn from criticism. Who likes criticism? Possibly no one. But it’s inevitable. When we choose to learn from criticism rather than simply defend our behaviors, we can grow in emotional intelligence.

Practice, practice, practice. Becoming more emotionally intelligent won’t happen overnight, but it can happen—with effort, patience, and a lot of practice.

Consequently, we know people who are masters at managing their emotions. They don’t get angry in stressful situations. Instead, they have the ability to look at a problem and calmly find a solution. They’re excellent decision makers, and they know when to trust their intuition. Regardless of their strengths, however, they’re usually willing to look at themselves honestly. They take criticism well and they know when to use it to improve their performance. Thus, learning to understand and manage your emotions as well as of others is critically important.