“SHE TO HE”

As I endure in front of this mirror with a 40 thousand Louis Vuitton bag staring at me from the ground and that painting which once used to be the language of my speech. I stand here ready to be buried down the ground anytime, you know just like that drilling machine which budges in holes in the undercoat. And my fully furnished home which would be ready to eat me up every time like a howl, but thanks to those stars which never left my side and I say never and which would cuddle me like a child and would sing lullabies to me every night even at this age of 40 they would soothe me.

You know when they said life wouldn’t always be a bed of roses they were honest about it. Being the lone child of my parents, all the world’s burden was on my shoulders, as my father had always wished for a son, and when I was born it was not that he wasn’t unhappy but he still wished if I could be wrecked into a son.

I essayed to be the knight in shining armour with the genes of a girl just so that my father would be happy because I loved him so dearly that I forgot about myself, about my dreams, and who I was actually as a somebody.

But simply everything is not too much and it was not for him too, every night he used to curse my mom and would grieve about not having a son.

Some Important Articles

That night as I put down under the stars weeping my eyes away, I promised myself to be someone that my father would be proud of and would never ever grieve again. That night I threw up my dreams just to be someone my father wanted me to be, my mania for painting, everything. I guess that day I passed up my soul just to fit in and be the perfect son he wanted me to be.

Only nobody ever asked me about how I was keeping up against all of this, my mental health had taken a toll on me, but nobody cared because I had become the perfect son for them, “she to he”.

And after years I still take my depression pills and I still have marked all over me, crying out at me, reminding me of how I lost everything but still gained everything, at least that smile and a proud daughter-son duo from my father.