Self-love: Be your own valentine!

Who said valentine’s day is only meant for couples?

After all, it’s a day to celebrate love so why not express love for yourself firstly. Self-love is defined as “the instinct by which one’s actions are directed to the promotion of one’s own welfare or well-being” (source:

It is only when we learn to love our own self, will we be able to give it to others. It is time to realize and appreciate yourself, just the way you are in reality. Hence, all singles out there- you don’t need to feel disheartened about being alone on valentine’s day as you have just earned a chance to practice self-love.

However, this should not be limited only to singles as anyone and everyone should and must practice self-love for good mental health and an overall happier and healthier life.

The flowers, chocolates and gifts that one plans to gift their better half on valentine’s, could be given to themselves for a change. After all, who knows your choice better than you! There is a lot more to you than one can recognize through a dimly-lit candle-light dinner.

It is easy to enjoy spending an evening with your partner praising you, however this satisfaction is proved to be a lot more when you yourself realize your intrinsic qualities and recognize your self-worth rather than being dependent on others for their approval.

Representations of love and other such activities on social media can actually do more harm to the mental health of others and cause a drastic impact on them, based on a 2013 Public Library of Science study.

Hence, it is of utmost importance to put an end to all these pressures and expectations that come along with valentine’s day, giving rise to jealousy and even depression. Let’s not pay heed to the show-off of lavish presentations of love but rather celebrate love for itself and firstly with our own selves- which really doesn’t require a lot of money and can be easily done on a budget as long as one is open to it and willing to falling in love with their own self.

Listed below are few ways which might be of help in practicing self-love

Accept and forgive yourself

Learn to accept yourself for who you are- for both positives and negatives in you. On this special day and every day, allow yourself to be vulnerable and forgive yourself for all your past actions as well as thoughts. Adopt the mentality of telling yourself every now and then that you are only a human and prone to making mistakes just like everyone else.

Go out for a self-date

Yes, you heard it right- go out on a date with yourself. A simple date with no complications involved- you would be free to choose the venue, decide the timing while not having to wait for anyone else. You will also be having the freedom to wear whatever you want without being judged by others.

Eat your heart out

For this one day, it is alright to ditch your diet and indulge in food that you really enjoy. If eating healthy is something that you cherish than nothing like it.

Surround yourself with nature

Try to be close to the sea, trees, animals, etc. It could be as simple as going to a nearby park, sitting in your balcony or being by your window. This is actually really beneficial when one is alone since being alone in solitude and close to nature would really build a connection to the soul and you will then realize how significant this me-time would be for you. Such self-introspections and peace is very much required to be in a good mental space.

Pamper yourself to the P

Pampering can take various forms and it is not necessary to resort to any one as- the more the merrier. Book a spa appointment and relieve yourself of all the stress and worries of daily life.

In Covid times, you could still enjoy a movie by turning your room into a cinema hall while munching on some popcorn. If reading is what you truly enjoy then gift yourself a new book. Shopaholics will have a great time shopping on this day as they might avail various valentine’s day offers on products.

Positive affirmations

Feelings of self-love can be greatly enhanced and multiplied through repetitions of positive mantras which you like to say. You could also create one for yourself without much of a pain as it may not be anything too deep, it can be just anything that gives you positivity and makes you feel better. Words like “I love and accept myself”, “I am blessed” and other forms of optimistic self-talk does wonders in building a secure sense of self and battling your way through troubles. Journaling and writing these down is another way to further boost such positive feelings. Tune in to music which makes you feel better.

Have willingness

Last but not the least, inculcate the willingness to engage in the above-mentioned activities. Remember, you are doing a favour only to yourself so why not? There is no reason to shy from yourself. Try exploring what makes you feel good and also whose company makes you feel good as this way, you would also figure your way out through relationships and build a bond on grounds of trust, with your partner loving you for your authentic self.


Not just valentine’s day but every day is self-love day. Never underestimate the power of forming and nurturing a good relationship with yourself as only then will you be capable of forming one with others. It is OK to paint your own portrait or to write yourself a love letter- all these may seem silly to some while others may equate it to self-obsession, but learn to set boundaries between yourself and the society which helps you to the extent of not being affected by the opinion of others. You do what matters to you. You do you 🙂

Thank you.


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Written by Simran Gidwani

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