A TASK FOR LIFE – PARENTING

Parenting is a journey where all who’re involves growing together learning from every aspect presented in front of you. Parenting differs for all, as of what seems fine to one can’t be fair enough to agree on for others.

Parenting is an undertaking authority an adult takes in order to raise their children. Parenting patterns differ with time. Talking about today’s terms, nowadays most of the parents tend to be more concerned about a child’s perspective rather than theirs. In today’s times, a child’s cognitive and mental state is valued more than the older times where the parents were the only monopoly decision-maker for the child.

How would a child categorize an ideal parent? Children’s ability to function according to the customs and beliefs develop with time. Within the passage of growth years, they tend to learn, assess, and impose most of the norms which suit their ability and understanding. The alternate understanding between right and wrong develops from the closest company a child has, which most of the children do have.

The natural behavioural and cognitive approach towards the environment and stimuli of a parent affects a child’s decision-making ability. For example, If a parent has a practical approach, then there are certain changes that a child might adopt a practical approach in some areas of life. The real basic beliefs a young child learns from parents, it could be gratitude and thankful behaviour towards elders or some religious beliefs.

What Researchers Say?

Researches claim that nit even behavioural traits but emotional traits such as anger and irritation could be transferred through genes but within the passage of time while living together with parents a child can also operationalize oneself with such traits. A few days back I met a friend who has got a niece of about 2years old while talking about her she mentioned ‘ iska gussa na bilkul apni mumma ki tarah hai, chilaaana and all’ and I find myself quite riddled at that time as of if that child reacts aggressively when she is angry then parents or adults around her should probe to find a tactic to ease this reaction instead of exclaiming so in front of anyone.

Discussing the problematic behaviour of children with others but not finding a decent solution can be a problem. This gives the child away to normalize such behaviour instead of working on it. a child will obviously find an ideal parent in a person who tends to listen more to them, agrees over their terms, expresses affection and care but an ideal parent can’t agree over a child’s every term which can create a bridge-gap between the parent and a child.

In my opinion, an ideal parent would be a person who can tackle complicated questions of children smartly and settle them efficiently. For example, children asking about the anatomical differences between men and women could be explained by giving relevant and easy examples from around so that children won’t raise the same question again. Such questions are normal to be asked by growing children as they’re curious about everything they’re not acknowledged about.

Personally, I think an ideal parent should have a liberal approach to raising a child. The liberal approach includes open-mindedness about relevant things that happens around and should equally give space to their opinion and correct them in a diplomatic manner which doesn’t make them accurately wrong at sometimes as it would lead them to raise less opinion about things.

Toxic Parenting Signs

Talking about what toxic parenting seems like, I’d say a relationship between the parent and a child in which the child’s opinions and perspectives aren’t really considered. A parent who’d choose not to appreciate a child’s abilities and skills or who find other children more capable of doing good. A strict authoritarian approach towards children can build a stiff bridge-gap between a parent and a child. I think a toxic parent would always keep a count on what he/she is doing for a child and would keep on giving reminders for so which tends to look like more of a pretend to act.

Imposing policies, beliefs, and customs on a child by a parent is also a sign of a toxic parent. A parent who chooses to hit a child as a probe is toxic as that can make a child violent in nature and could also make them stubborn. Parents who chose to bribe children to compensate things can also lead to toxicity in a relationship as a child would start thriving for gifts or compensations from parents rather than affection and care. Humiliating a child in front of anyone or in-person can lead up to a lack of confidence and lower self-esteem in a child.

How to Improve the relationship with your child

In order to improve the relationship with your child or to assess toxicity, one should follow up:

• The parent has to be vocal about his expressions and feelings. It would help the child to open up and vent things in order to ease oneself.
• A parent does have a certain right to get angry with his child if he commits any mistake but one should always avoid hitting or can say violent reactions so that children hide less from parents.
• Settle common norms at the house but try not to impose them and make them look like such norms are being applied under a criterion and would be taken off under feasible terms and conditions.
• A parent should have an open-minded approach towards trends happening in society so that child doesn’t find it difficult to accept such developments.

Conclusion

I wanted to address that I’m not a parent but a young adult who can partially assess what is going to affect what. The whole blog was more of an opinion from a child’s perspective. But I think parenting isn’t that easy as it seems like I can address certain issues but would only come to know about the reality when I myself would be in such a role.