Disassociative Identity Disorder

I knew I wanted to be a therapist when I realized I had the power to heal with my words, unaware that maybe I was destined to be one for this one case I had two years back. In 10 years of my practice as a certified therapist, this case of Dissociative Identity Disorder was the greatest case of my career.

My patient was a 32-year-old young man, who came in to seek help because he did not feel right. As I welcomed him and started initial sessions, he told me about his life; he was a happily married man with a six-year-old daughter who moved to Bangalore for work, after settling he called his wife and daughter here to live together but somehow his happy marriage started to turn ugly. He started having major arguments and differences with his wife who soon decided to divorce him. Things escalated so quickly that within months his life was falling apart. He begged her to stay and to work on their relationship but she yelled that he has become unusually feminine since she came back and she cannot stay with a man like that. These words infuriated him and he let her go. After she left, the house seems to haunt him and remind him how lonely he was. He missed his daughter deeply but his wife wouldn’t let them talk and so filled with grief and anger he swallowed some pills but by the grace of God he survived; that is when one of his friends forced him to go for therapy. At the surface, the problem seemed to be severe depression but as the sessions passed by, I realized the problem was much deeper.

As he took sessions with me, I gradually asked him about his daily routine and sometimes he had time gaps he couldn’t fill; he wouldn’t remember what he did during that duration or where he was as if his brain blacked out. We needed a breakthrough and for that, it was necessary to fill in the time gaps. When he came for the next session, he had bruises all over his arms. I got really worried, he said he did not remember what happened but when he woke up clueless on the floor of his kitchen. He started crying that he was never going to be normal again, I put him at ease and then I asked him to remember what happened past night; was he under the influence of any drugs? But then what happened shook me.

“It’s time you finally know about my presence”, he said weeping in a very feminine tone. “I am Gayatri, and he isn’t aware that I live with him or rather in him. I had a breakdown last night and these bruises exist because I was anxious and wanted to kill myself”.

For a minute I thought it was a prank, but then I asked Who are you Gayatri? And why did you wanted to kill yourself? What came in front of me was horrific. She said she does not trust me but I reassured her that her secret will be safe with me.

She mumbled something but I couldn’t hear it so I asked her to repeat it. “I was raped!”, she screamed. “No, I am not impure! And I won’t let anyone degrade me further. Every night his touch makes me want to cut every part of my body where ever he laid hand on me. You wanna know how it happened? He was my friend, I trusted him but he ripped me apart! He drugged me and dragged me to his room, I wasn’t unconscious I could feel him scavenging my skin like a predator but I couldn’t do anything in my defense,” she started sobbing, “he did not even get punished for what he did because rich brats like him always find loopholes in the system. Since that day, every touch from a man or a woman haunts me and reminds me of my tragedy. This is the reason I couldn’t let his wife touch me, because I felt like she’s another human hungry for my body.”

It was then that I realized that his wife was not wrong, he was not well. And as the clock ticked towards the end of the session, the alter was still there when my patient left. Throughout the week then, I worked on this case and the next week when he came for his session I informed him that he is suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder, at first he couldn’t digest the fact but then got a reality check. The alter came and went during the sessions and it took us two years to cure him. During the session I discovered the reason for this disorder. When the patient was young, about 6 years old, his uncle raped their maid and brutally murdered her later. The family was able to cover the tracks of the incident so the news never came out. All this happened in front of the poor boy’s eyes and this left a deep impact on his subconscious mind. Years later, when this incident was still present with him unconsciously, he watched a documentary about sexual assaults with his wife. This is what triggered those subconscious memories within him.

Learn more about DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS

CONCLUSION

It is often speculated whether a person is actually suffering from DID or faking it. Although some people may use the disorder to their advantage, this disorder exists. There may be various factors that cause DID, but treatment is possible.