Men shouldn’t show emotions!?

Humans are social beings. We need a constant sense of social support and presence of at least one person, a human around us. One might say they don’t but at the end of the day no one wants to be isolated. But being social and a part of the society comes with challenges of its own. There are norms that one needs to follow, rules people are told to abide by. Being a law abiding citizen and then also following up to all those norms society sets for you can be tough at times. But the topic I am here to discuss about today is social stigma. Formally defining social stigma it is ‘disapproval or discrimination against people or a particular person based on perceivable social characteristics that act as a way of distinguishing them from other members of the society’. Stigmatization or looking at a particular type of behaviour or action is something that has been very common going around in the society and might have been seen by or faced by almost every individual reading this right now. The thing I don’t understand is why people are said to act in only certain ways and not go around showing individuality if it in no ways is harming anyone else around them? The main social stigmas that we know about are related to women and their ways, but even men are told to abide by certain stigmas which if they don’t, society looks down at them.

“One might usually notice how in a family the female members, like your mother is someone who can easily talk about how she feels, be it expressing her love for you or being scared for you. But your father or maybe even brother probably aren’t so openly able to tell.or express the way they feel” This is because, from a young age boys are constantly told to, “man up”, “stop crying like a girl”, “men don’t get hurt” and are to bottle up their emotions. Being a human comes with certain things that are built-in within us, like brain process of perception and our hearts beating. Emotions too are w main part of a human build-up, it is not psychologically neither scientifically possible for a human to not have emotions. If that indeed is the case, then why are men this very normal thing of being able to show their emotions? It is nothing abnormal you know, having feelings and emotions. Animals and many other livings beings are not as evolved enough to shoe the quality and intensity of emotions they feel, but we understand their pain and feelings. Then why is it so hard for the society to accept the emotionality of the make human species? Men are conditioned to assume that male identity is out of character to express their emotions. Doing so will undermine their picture of being dominant and stoic. Specifically, men are told they would threaten their masculinity by weeping in front of other people. But showing emotions is not a weekness but a strength. Putting yourselves out there and being vulnerable isnnot something everyone is capable of. Even men can cry on days things get hard, be mad because they did not get their preferred coffee flavour and be kind to others and laugh whole heartedly. Men too deseve to get their favourite flowers and go on dates organised just for them. They deserve to get and give the warmth and love of first rays of sunshine, without any shame or standards.

With all of these other things considered, penting up and not showing your emotions also takes a huge toll on a person’s mental health. Having being always told to ‘keep it all in’ and having had the same examples set infront of them. Men find it particularly hard to talk about things causing them distress or problems even to people they are really close to. Also, following the stigma around mental health in society they are less likely to even opt for any kind of professional help for various reasons. But penting everything up is never the way to go about, because this only worsens the situation and aggravates it’s after effects, causingany more problems. Statistically, women are more likely to get diagnosed with anxiety or depression. Men, however, often deal with disorders of mental health and mental distress. At some point during their lifetime, over 30 percent of men will experience a phase of depression, and over 9 percent of men report every day experiencing feelings of depression or anxiety. It doesn’t mean they don’t have them, only because men are told to hide their feelings. Research indicates that, at the same stage as women, men feel emotions. But since a man’s weeping because he’s depressed is not socially appropriate, it can make it look that men are not feeling grief at all. Men who experience depression or sorrow are actually more likely to channel these feelings into various emotions that are perceived as more socially appropriate. A man suffering grief or depression, for example, may be more likely to act violently or get upset about something small, rather than cry.

Women atleast are allowed to talk about things hurting them, let themselves open and show their weak side. But men are denied this privilege. Men are told to keep up the strong, macho-man image and women to be the weak and fragile damsel-in-distress. If someone chooses not to follow these particular gender roles, they are considered outsiders and looked down upon. Where did these discriminations arise from and why are these something we need to abide by?? Gandhiji had said, “Be the change you want to see in the world”, so let us first change our thinking and then try to change the society. It might take time, but let us take the first step towards something good. We need to break all these social stigmas and actually start addressing the various problems in the way we think about certain things. In order to progress we need to make changes in the way we think and perceive things.