Kirti Giridhar
VIRGINITY AND MYTHS ABOUT IT
We live in an era where talking about everything under the sun is normal but what is not considered to be worthy of being talked upon is the act of “SEX”. The sayings that “Sex is evil and the way of the devil and is simply termed as “diabolic debauchery” we come across when we tend to delve deeper into this notion as if it’s a deadly sin.
The brains of children are inculcated with false beliefs as they aren’t given the correct knowledge about sex. If they are curious and they have urge to acquire more education about it we shut them up. They are further imposed with restrictions on being alone with the person of opposite gender, kissing even holding hands. Why? What if it leads to sex.
“You” will become impure and not only this but also adding even the religious teachings and fearing them to death by “You will burn in hell” such phrases. The reason behind all this is the stereotypical thinking that we have developed for this term “Sex” due to which it is considered as a gigantic enigma and a taboo subject to be discussed upon.
Weird! isn’t it? How we move from a society that has developed itself in all aspects and then when it comes to topics like sex which should normal be discussed upon but we are held back by the narrow-minded and backward mentality.
WHO IS A VIRGIN?
The word “virgin” comes from the old French word “virgine” that is derived from the root form of the Latin word “virgo” the literal meaning of which is maiden or a virgin that is a sexually intact young woman. From centuries virginity is the terminology used to put emphasis on parentage and entrenched in male dominance.
The purity culture that revolves around the idea that one’s virginity is the sole reason for one’s existence something that must be held tightly and looked upon in every situation. As if we are relating this term to one’s breath.
A virgin is a person who’s never had sex. The one who hasn’t lost their virginity. “Virginity” that has become the ultimate or should I say a huge indicator to determine what kind of a character a person has, whether they deserve to be a part of this society or not, that even questions their worth. We have made such a big deal out of this word.
Not only this but also we talk about this as if it is something that we have to hold on to till the time we meet that “perfect, worthy guy who deserve us , “losing your virginity is bad”. On what basis did we idolize this concept of virginity?
What is the main differential bedrock on which we came to this analogy that if a girl is a virgin then she is the one who is pure and has moral values and the one who isn’t is simply a slut? Performing this sexual-intercourse at a young age makes you a whore and doing sex after marriage makes you the honorable woman.
Why this term questions a woman’s morality. We all are well aware of all the religious teachings and their concepts are deep rooted in our heads but have you ever taken a second to stop and revive upon it to make a difference and question the mindset that you have created.
I will give you an example you all believe the ultimate fact or the truth that is the existence of the supreme power. The almighty that is channelizing everything the one that has created this universe and the one that is sustaining life in it. God stabilizes the world.
You came to this belief because you had certain reasons to believe upon it supported by the vital facts too.
Then how come you came to the conclusion of this concept and even created pre-conceived notions -without taking in consideration the vital facts for the same?
What is a hymen?
Hymen that is described as some kind of obstruction in your vagina that will tear up when you eventually have intercourse and it can even lead to the bleeding as well as pain. “Breaking the hymen” the major myth that guards our heads and we grew up believing that hymen is the proof for one’s virginity.
The anatomical myths about female’s virginity that continue to expose threat to the life of woman.
The first one is about blood that states that the hymen breaks and bleeds the first time when a woman has vaginal sex that is the blood is the evidence for a woman ‘s virginity and second one serves as the outcome of the first and people also believe the hymen disappears and even gets radically altered.
If I take this into consideration then one could easily determine whether a woman is a virgin or not. The growth of hymens vary not every woman develops hymen. This hymen can even stretch without sexual intercourse and there is no physical mark or as a virginity detector to proof that a woman or man is a virgin or not.
The truth is so much more than just a misapprehension as these myths have gained importance, have been trusted upon from a long time and have been used as powerful tool to overpower on a woman’s sexuality.
From being shamed, treated brutally if they don’t bleed on their wedding night and are tortured to such an extent as if this term gives people the authority to treat women as an object. In order to make matters worse this whole concept of virginity or the value of virginity applies only to women.
Such hypocrisy! Despite living in a democratic country and launching programs like “Beti Bachao and Beti Padhao” then why can’t this beti take decisions for her own-self. Why this beti is restricted? Demanding that a girl should be a virgin before marriage though the boy can sleep with numerous woman he likes? You ensure to make programs for this “beti” and not even allow this girl to live freely without objectifying her.
This whole concept develops a fear in a kid’s mind who is about to enter his/her teenage the time of their lives which is like the spring season that adds newness to their lives and hopes. We instill this terror about the entire concept of virginity that has an adverse impact on their growing reservoirs of energy.
At a point where their minds are already conquered upon by the peer encumbrance as this subject is discussed among their peers the most and leading them to the wrong path by taking impulsive
decisions . They try to grasp information and took other ways like watching porn to do so as their unable to express their turmoil of emotions and we even take away from them their act of expression.
Heartbreaking isn’t it?
Government should ensure that such topics aren’t considered as conservatives topics anymore rather they should be considered as the need of the hour. Ignorance won’t lead to anything but by giving the people. Proper sex education should be given to every student who infinite questions going in their heads about sex and virginity.
So that they are able to accept these changes and feel that they are a part of growing up. Don’t make big things out of a thing that one should be accustomed to. This would even widen the horizons and these growing gems who are like the lilacs would also be able to feel free to talk with their parents about all the changes they experience and can develop a better relationship with them.
Very well written ❤