The Psychology behind pet names

You promised yourself that you wouldn’t do it.

Calling your partner pet names like ‘sweetie,’ ‘baby,’ ‘jaan,’ and ‘honey pie.’ You heard other couples around you call each other these names and you immediately cringed. However, lo and behold! You found yourself to be in a loving relationship and could not stop yourself from calling your partner such baby names.

This brings us to the question, why do we resort to calling our partners such pet names rather than calling them by their actual names? Research indicates that there exists a strong psychological link between: the use of pet names for our partners and early childhood attachment, stemming from our relationship with our primary caregivers- our mothers.

Dean Falk, a neuroanthropologist from Florida State University stated that the reason why the use of pet names is a mainstay for most couples (especially in the early stages of the relationship), curtails from when we first acquired language- through baby talk with our primary caregivers. Baby talk, which helps initial language acquisition for us all, also leads to the formation of a vital emotional bond between mothers and their child. Children, of course, love baby talk and take it as a form of endearment and affection from their mothers/ caregivers. Thus, Falk suggests that- the use of such baby talk has similar sort of role to play in adult relationships- a show of mutual affection.

That is to say, when we use pet names such as ‘baby,’ ‘sweetheart,’ for our partners- which is parallel to the usage of baby talk by our caregivers in our childhood as a form of intimacy- our intention is to communicate an affection to our partners, thus leading to the creation of a psychological attachment. Therefore, Falk’s hypothesis is this- couples that use pet names go back to their early experiences of when they were young, and importantly to their first love- their mothers.  This hypothesis, while Freudian in nature, is interestingly unique as it takes into account our childhood experiences as a way to explain current behaviours and motives.

What is interesting is the use of certain pet names as opposed to others. Pet names such as ‘bae,’ ‘baby,’ ‘sweetie pie,’ are more common than a pet name like ‘angel.’ Linguistic research for this again stems from our infant years, one of our first linguistic experiences. That is to say, when babies start acquiring language, they use consonant such as ‘b,’ ‘m,’ and ‘p,’ which are bilabial (sound produced due to closure/ near closure of mouth) in nature and thus are easy to pronounce. As a result, terms such as ‘baby,’ and ‘sweetie pie’ are commonly used as endearment.

In today’s day and age, especially during these trying times of the coronavirus pandemic, where it may be difficult to go out and meet our partners like we used to- calling your significant other bae might just make them feel reassured and valued. Don’t shudder whilst calling your partner an eye-roll worthy nickname, it might actually bring you closer.

References

Prasad, P (2019). The Psychology Behind Romantic Pet Names and Baby Talk. The Swaddle. Retrieved from: https://theswaddle.com/psychology-of-couples-pet-names-baby-talk/