Just out of curiosity … would you rather be a part of a problem or solution? I will ask this same question at the end of this article. I’m pretty sure after reading it, you will add value to this question. Now whatever may the answer… who am I too judge….

A women loses her virginity….talks are hey, are you mad?? Why would you do such a thing? It was worst you could do to yourself? Have you thought about your family reputation? There’s going to be talks about you. You are so gone… no one will marry you.

Muh kala krr aaye…ghr main bethao isse! 

These are not only some movie dialogues. This is real. This is life. She is being humiliated and now seen differently as if she is roaming naked. Ones virginity has supposed to be ones very personal choice. At first why do you ask? Now she is worried too deep down. It is supposed to be a personal thing. What one does with his/her body is totally one’s decision and its basic human need.

Well guess what due to this need you are here. There’s stigma attached to almost everything now. One might thing its ok, its normal to judge & criticize others. On daily basis, average humans criticize others & situations for almost 100 times a day and even more. These are straight up facts. We all judge & criticize, I’m not blaming anyone in particular.

So much negative energy and one more fact we judge ourselves too. Why so much judging? Being a non-virgin women how does this changes things? She is still she, she just had made a choice and had an experience, just like any other human being. It’s only up to her. No one else has no right to claim you a whore, a slut, whatever blah blah…you know who you are, only you know. The biggest stigma started right on your birth, oh it’s a girl. & it continued… now your brain is so conditioned even you think it’s normal. You are not allowed to live a free life.

If you are virgin you are judged, if you are non- virgin you are judged. There’s just endless judgments with women and this is just one of those. They both did same act, but the outcomes are so different. Why life is so unfair? This similar stuff happens to a man? He is so proud and made super cool amongst most people. Even if she tries to feel happy about it, she is being made to think the other way amongst most people.

She is not allowed to have sex, she not allowed to wear this or that, she is not allowed to go out alone at night, she is not allowed to hang out with boys, she is not allowed to work, she is not allowed not stay in her own birth home after some age, she is never allowed. Why? She is not allowed to being herself, she is everything but her. Is this a way to live? This is bad! Men will be men. And women will be??

Not her but what society says. Even thinking about this makes me angry and sad at the same time. May be that’s why girls want a fairy tale or imaginary world to live in. because this place is quiet a hell. No no now you are judging me, I’m not playing any girl card… no I’m not a feminist…well nothing leave it. The main drama awaits at the time of marriage, man wants a virgin woman to be his wife.

Not all but yes all 99%, only 1% of people are so called modern, in them too you can find bias. It’s being so conditioned in our brains since birth. Now even a rape happened, feels so normal. Everything and every situation is different and needs a fresh perspective on it. Find out if you care so much, what actually the matter is.

Knowing oneself, it’s the first step to end any sort of stigma. Ask yourself is this mind even yours? Is this judging of any matter to you? Are these thoughts even yours or you are just a happening of stuff around you. Don’t live blindly, find yourself… it’s only you who can set your intentions & define yourself. Now Just a curiosity… would you rather be a part of a problem or solution? 

What do you think?

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