Meenu Jha
It was one of those evening where I was all set to make my sister learn mathematical tables, I was a lot in to teaching mood that day. She had trouble remembering them in correct order, even after many attempts she didn’t improve significantly, I was super mad at her and yelled “you’re useless if you can’t remember the table of 8”.
I closed her book and was about to leave the room when, she innocently yet very strongly said, “no di!! I can count till 100 , I can touch my toes , I can write all my family member’s name . I am not useless”. I was shocked at this, in a way I was mad at her for answering back but in some part of me she had stirred something and I was beyond proud of her.
I left the room quietly, this younger one of mine had uncovered the topic I was hiding within myself for quite a lot of time; loving myself . There was a point in my life where I felt like slapping any body who told me to “love myself” I was sick of it. What does loving me even mean?
And why should I even do that? Does loving myself mean bubble baths, pedicures, and cucumber masks? Not willingly though, my thoughts kept dwelling deeper, my value it not measured by others opinion , I felt. I puzzled-ly went to my parents to ask why do they love me?
But I came out of my parent’s room with more anxiety and questions than with what I had entered . Slowly and steadily as the days passed, I began realizing how important it is to regard oneself with love and respect. I can’t think of any love story about oneself. We’re typically fed love stories that involve two people, but there’s a whole world of untold love stories about another incredibly important relationship: the one with ourselves.
It’s feeling full of everything and empty of it all at the same time this is when we know we are lacking love within you. With a lot of courage I decided to cut out the toxicants from my life, to open the blockages I had created for myself.
Not everybody’s self love looks alike, applying makeup might reduce someone’s anxiety whereas listening to old retro songs and dancing around in your pajamas may free someone from their tensions of day and life, whereas crying while watching ‘ kal ho na ho’ for the billionth time might help somebody else. Not every Sunday has to have a pintrest-y breakfast or meals.
The extreme guilt you’ve been carrying inside of you, the pressure that’s building it’s not worth anything. If you ask me for an advice , I would tell you to throw that friend who’s so toxic , throw your insecurities that shows on your face, it’s not easy , it’s never easy until you start doing it.
Throw away the objects, experiences, clowns who serve no purpose except to bring you down. Throw away those who won’t let you grow, keep your head high and remember you’re the only one who roots up for you, the most. Take care of yourself and see how magic happens.
Thank you !
Waiting for magic to reach to you.
Smile , it suits you the most.
