Extroverted? Here’s some Tips on How to be Quiet and Reflective

Just when I thought comic realism doesn’t take place, I came across a meme. Yes you heard it right, a meme! It was made originally from a tweet from Tom & Lorenzo, a couple who blogs and are a cultural and fashion critic. This tweet became popular (at-least in the psychology world) and as it turns out they were right. It immediately sounds right without fact proofing it. But for the purpose of writing this blog, I skimmed through the Internet and I found the only two articles which addressed this was in fact in reply to the tweet and giving actual tips for extroverts.

So, here I am addressing the same thing. But I would like to focus more on the personality type debate without raging a war. The other articles which I mentioned only gave out tips but did not stress enough on the sociological aspect of this phenomena.

So let’s pose the issue straight, there are not many articles or talks where extroverts feel the need to mellow down whereas there are endless philosophical and psychological material on making an introvert to open up and draw their energies from outside. My understanding of this is the fact that introverts are reflective, so much so that it’s a boon even though it also drowns them but still it’s in their nature to be so. Their reflectiveness brings out nothing but the urge to truly improve and be successful. I don’t specifically mean socially or financially but rather spiritually. They are the kind whose action is thinking. It does seem absurd how action can be just thinking. To understand simply look at chess which fyi is a sport. Thinking for a move is more important than actually the physical act of making a move. Actual action does not elude them but their cognitive processes are highly mental.

So what extroverts don’t want to improve or they never intend to? Absolutely they do! They are steadfast when it comes to developing their career, managing social relationships, making a mark in the society by bringing in change and be the Good Samaritan one looks for people in general. These make them quite the attraction. They are “seen” to be precise.

There’s a peppy saying in Hindi “jo dikhta hai wohi bikta hai” which means what is seen is sold. We briefly discussed how introverts act with thoughts. Extroverts move with action. They shine on! Bold and beautiful. The perfect example to understand this can be made with fruits. A peach with a seed inside and a coconut with creamy texture and water inside.

The peach like an extrovert is definitely more exotic than the coconut which resembles an introvert. But inside the coconut all you get is bliss. Just like how we get attracted to beauty while selecting a partner (let’s not kid ourselves here), true understanding of beauty comes with complete examination of the person. Don’t mistake me for ambushing the extroverts with seemingly attacking statements. For the purpose of breaking down the attempt of why is being made.

Should there be a point in imagining a world where we as a society would strongly regard extroverts to change things for the best? On a whole it seems like an unimpactful thing but I believe there is a practical element to this. Introspecting my childhood, I find that this understanding in my family or my surroundings would have considerably made me feel better. Living in a joint family is regarded as having siblings in Indian culture.

When as a child you experience being reprimanded for things which our other counterpart gets away with is truly unjust for a child. They live on a constant roller coaster. When they mess something up they face the music but if they do something great they are on top of the world. And for introverts their low key existence makes them vulnerable if something goes wrong. The rapport is missing with others. I’m sure all the therapists, psychologists & counselors practicing any therapy would agree the importance of rapport in initiating a conversation let alone preparing for healing and improving.

So naturally bearing things in mind like individuals disposition, law of nature and society its a fair reasoning why extroverts are not pushed towards being more reflective. Let’s evaluate their reflectiveness. Personal experiences through observation of people and close friends in general has made me realise that life experiences play a major role in everyone’s life. Especially an extrovert. They do have sufficient grounding and a fine set of ideals and principles through which they live their lives. Life’s ups and downs and learning from others who are close to them in difficult times help them refine it. External forces of nature and existence is what makes an extrovert reflect.

Their reflection isn’t an activity but the resultant of the experience they go through. Although this is true for everyone, introverts rather have the reflecting capability at any given time or scenario. This explains why they are more imaginative or creative. Writing in itself is said to be an introspective activity. Not denying that there are no great extrovert writers or that extroverts don’t write but they don’t have the natural edge in certain reflective zones. Being a yoga professional I’ve seen people who are social, struggle to enjoy the true sense of movement in practice. A certain grace, attitude and feeling helps a practitioner to get a true essence and benefit of Yoga and this is often difficult for them as it doesn’t excite or entertain them.

What are the societal repressions one might ask of this? A world open and welcoming of an extrovert. We are moving at a faster pace. Sense pleasures hitting new heights each day. Giving their need to unite and do something together we have technological inclusion more than ever. Social activities, holiday celebrations and weekend parties are a definite thing in our lives. In a way if reflection would make its way individually I’m sure it would correspond in a way to what’s happening in the world today and in the recent years. The obvious elephant in the room COVID had its play in reflection as well. I’m sure it must have been a difficult time for extroverts who couldn’t go out.

The inner urge to do something or interact might say something about us depending on how well we really hear or face ourselves. This might go dark but that’s how it is right? The human brain has an estimated storage capacity of around 2.5 petabytes. If your brain could record video, you’d be able to store 3 million hours of TV shows, according to professors of Psychology at Northwestern university. We have so much within us, so much we have gone through and at any given time our thoughts, emotions and our body functions constantly for us.

It’s only fair to tend to them and interact with them. My favourite Yoga asana teacher once taught us something which deeply resonated with me. He started with an activity. He asked us to raise our palms up and individually move each finger. We found this relatively easy. He then requested us to sit down and asked that just like individually moving the fingers now do the same with the toes. There were laughs, worry and excitement in class as no one could do it! Go try it yourself! What does this mean one might wonder? He went on and said we keep our toes in fancy shoes and still use it for all kinds of activities. He said if your toes would have the ability to speak it would say something like “You don’t keep me as efficient as fingers so I will go on a strike! You don’t use me, I won’t be of your use in the long run.”

So it’s a simple philosophy. Neglect any aspect of yourself and it becomes a negative. Even though this might be an example of how neglect, reflection and introspection play an important role in life, one might ask so what if our toes or anything are not in control? It’s not that we use it extensively. Well that’s a fair point I would say. All the nerves of your body are in your toes. If you believe in acupuncture and acupressure then there’s a science to it. Also you can easily say bye to ankle sprains and you would feel that walking becomes free and bold. Just like there’s an explanation to this then there is an explanation for everything else. Unless you are determined or curious enough to find out then turning a new leaf for anything would be really difficult.