All credit goes to the lockdown. During this time I had ample amount of time to find myself, find the reasons I'm not able to do certain stuff, find some psychological strengths about me that made me feel like I had value , that I may not be worthless. It all started when I finally agreed with myself that I am finding it difficulty to understand so many things it may be studies or anything, that it's very hard for me to focus and pay attention, that nothing stays in my memory for long , this got me really frustrated as this was the reason I was lagging behind in many areas of my life and I had to do something. That's when my research started. There is this guy called JIM KWIK, an amazing brain coach (I really recommend all of you to check him out, his trainings, his way of teaching, his story, his podcasts and videos, everything, it'll really help) I started listening to his podcasts, seeing his videos on YouTube, attending relative webinars, relative blogs and learning about people who have suffered worse (with learning challenges) and how they came up, how they overcame those challenges. All of this fascinated me and helped me a lot. All of this led me to knowing my Meta learning, learning terms and meanings from neuroplasticity, neurogenesis, to learning techniques like spaced repetition , chunking, the Pomodoro technique etc., to playing brain games etc. Then I went on to research a lot more, I found a lot of value in all of this. In the midst of all this I was going through therapy to find out if my therapist could help me regarding my learning and everything but it turned completely different for me. It shifted to my emotions, because of problems I was having in life generally and with my parents and family. Figured I was emotionally unstable, that I was having lack of emotions from others, that I was suppressing the emotional part of my brain, that I had no self love, that I'm a self critic, that though I was having a very positive drive and motivation to reach my goals career wise, I had this frustration that I didn't even know was caused by all of those things I just mentioned above. My therapist made me understand for the brain to function in a balanced and proper way ,the right and left hemisphere of the brain are interdependent i.e. our emotions and logical needs to work together and we need to learn to regulate emotions than suppress it. The positives were I'm highly self aware of my logic side (not with my emotions, because I just got to know about them, but I'm learning to regulate it), I now know where I'm lacking, figured how to deal with myself.

There were times I really felt worthless , LIKE LITERLLY WORTHLESS, EMPTY, SAD and I had no clue what to do in life , it was like I was STUCK. My therapist didn't mention anything about ADHD , or depression or anything ,so clinically I am not diagnosed with anything but I always felt I had them. No one saw me from my perspective and that was the worst part. 

All of this made me more mature, made me learn a lot, I really respect Psychology, this field helped me and I'm glad all of this I mentioned above happened or else I would have never known how I would deal with the next steps of life or what life is going to throw at me next. One thing I would request everyone to do asap is KNOW YOURSELF , LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF, it is SO IMPORTANT because you'll have CERTAINITY.