"Letter of Termination". Sounds scary enough who just joined her first-ever Multi-National Company, her first job. Parents were so proud, and in just a couple of months, that feeling is gone. What Feeling? Let me put light on what it felt like.

Showing up for the interview, nervous yet confident. Getting the offer letter, overwhelmed yet so excited. Arriving at the place, new people, scared yet motivated. I actually missed my flight to the place where I was supposed to join for work. I keep telling myself that it was a sign, this isn't right, this isn't meant for me, but it was a clouded emotion, and to date, I am unable to figure out why on earth that happened? 

I believe in instincts, signs, if you know what am I talking about. Moving on, I had to move from Mumbai to Mysore to work for Infosys. YES. The big Indian based MNC. But after four months of training, exams, fun, meeting new friends, sorry, just people. I failed one of my exams, with 4 marks. I can't even stress this enough, a small thing like 4 marks could change your life, could teach you so much. Then I received my termination letter. I was devastated. I cried for like four days, kind of rhymes with 4 marks, which is maybe a sign too? Haha. 

My parents came to visit me, in Mysore, I spilled the beans. My mom was shocked and dad tried to keep it calm but we all can only imagine how they are supposed to stay calm, feel agitated, or support their daughter. It was a lot to handle, and I was feeling so many things at once, furious, disappointed in myself, told myself "you could have done better". That, that was my first mistake. The way I was talking to myself in my head, thinking low of myself. It was difficult to think straight.

Parents were no the only ones trying to act all okay, I was too. Let me be honest, I felt relieved, I felt I have so much more to look ahead. Like a bird out of a cage. I'm not sure my parents would even understand this, because we live in a society where being laid off by a huge firm is a disappointment. In the 2nd week of our work, we were informed, "Even if you don't make it through this training, DO NOT FEEL BAD. The world is a big place, and you have so many more opportunities waiting for you outside the gate." I don't know why that was stuck in my head. 

I came back home, I asked for opinions from my elder siblings. Following their path, because I still couldn't think straight, I started looking for jobs. I even got interviews, but they just weren't right. I didn't feel the fire to work for any of them, just like it wasn't right for Infosys. 

During this time, I developed feeling anxious most of the time. For two reasons, I had nothing to do, and second, all I did was think. Thinking about how I can find a perfect job, about what I can do in my free time, most importantly how not to feel upset, how not to feel at all. THAT was my second mistake. Trying not to feel at all. FEEL. Because if you don't, you won't be able to heal from the wound.

Feel that sadness, 'cause it's going to help you grow mentally. Feel that you have fallen because it will motivate you to get up again and go ahead. 

As a hobby, I developed some skills like Adobe Premiere Pro and Adobe After Effects. Some of you might know, these are video editing software. I used them to edit my YouTube videos. I became a YouTuber!! But that went down as a mountain slide does. Honestly? I don't even regret it because I learned something in the process, isn't that right? I learned skills, being creative. It was fun.

Lesson Number Three: Do not worry about the destination, enjoy the journey as well!

Presently, it's been 11 months, being unemployed. I learned a whole new course on Data Analytics. That's okay on the academic front. The hardest lesson was, how to cope up with your thoughts. How do you think positive even when your life is almost falling apart, wait, the wrong word "falling apart". For me, it was falling in place. Trust me when I say this, It's YOUR PERSPECTIVE that matters, the MINDSET that will get you somewhere instead of nowhere, IT BEGINS IN YOUR MIND, ENDS IN YOUR MIND. The way YOU look at things. That was my life's biggest lesson or lessons? Or was it a downfall? I would love to hear from you. ^.^