Both parenting style & children: demanding need of up gradation

Demanding for up gradation of thoughts and acceptance!

Here being into generalized way more that just technicality of Balanced, Uninvolved, permissive, Strict, and Overbearing styles and characteristics. It’s not just about being an Indian child, its more about seeing how every Indian child is going through more or less difficult situations in their life and clear reason for most of those situation is the type of parenting style they are raised in. no doubt parents are not the problem in any case, but the way parents see and raise their children is making child weak in respect of surviving in society.

With no offense in heart-“Indian parenting style is currently a boon of eternal love and curse of not understanding their child at same time”, and this is something we need to work on to create healthy survival for most of the kids out there.

What is parenting exactly meant to be, is it just about teaching younger ones the traditions prevailing, or to follow cultures of family history, telling how life had been in their time and now child must imitate that, or is it about setting double standards about male and female version since childhood and forcing it on kids, or asking to win in all field instead of telling them what winning is all about, I mean what is it actually?????

Even if I put all these questions up, majority of parents will still put a debate on why all this is important to follow as a rule for their children and not paying attention on what their children actually need and wants. And at same time children too need to understand about the family circumstance, parents concerns and their situations before putting your demands in front of them, and many more area of understanding on part of children.

Starting from biasness &double standards between daughter and son about timing, clothes, etc.; Setting up prior educational goals for their own kids and forcing them to become that only; not focusing on teaching moral values but want only A grade; not making conversation in family matters but still expect child to behave accordingly; not respecting relations and social bonds of children with the excuse you don’t know who is good or not instead of letting their child explore and understand what’s wrong or not; creating extreme fear in mind of kids about if they’ll do wrong they’ll be punished badly instead of making them learn from those mistakes and asking not to repeat; often seen that parents are being lenient and laughing when their children behave ill-mannered at social platforms and then claims they don’t listen them but what truth is that nowadays parents are skipping making their child learn manners, values, and general ideal behavior; many children are loyal and honest but still feel not appreciated for that by parents because they always doubt on kids for no reason; moreover some parents also blackmail their children on the name of love and keep them bounded doesn’t matter they are happy or not and many more different kinds of situations are there which sounds in appropriate in context of both parents and their children.

Now, not being partial and one way talking only problems caused by parenting style, but also wants to bring kind attention of towards how children also misuse their parents love and affection. When they don’t receive love, affection, conversation with their parents they complain to them and society but if their parents pay proper attention and time children speak up like they are over concerned, like seriously! I wonder why we are making this easy situation complicated on our own terms and conditions.

Parents are the only people in our life who will always up for their children whatever the situation is children is in, they’ll be only praying for well-being, achievements’, success, healthy and wealthy life, happiness and peace only. Possibly parenting style can carry loop holes but it’s never parents at that place. It’s more like a situation that parenting style has become like a ritual that will be followed from generation to generation like a social norm, we know it’s chronological to hear but this how it’s going on.

And this is the only point where we need to work, definitely it doesn’t need any medication as it is not problem to be cured, it only needs up gradation in awareness, acceptance, mentality that parents and children both firstly need to keep check on their actions which will affect their personal life first and society at second place.

Doesn’t matter how many problems are there, they always comes with a solution. We all are aware that majority of children are not being able to open up as much as capabilities they have or whatever it is and similarly parents are also not at peace seeing their children in pieces and shattered here and there with so many unknown problems.

What can we do is not just suggestions but need indeed for healthy parenting culture and satisfied parents and children and we all know how much satisfaction is important for peaceful life.

Now, what can we do:-

1. Both children and parents needs to acknowledge each other’s point of view, circumstances and situations.
2. Parents needs to give their kids personal space and freedom to grow and make mistakes and then have a discussion on leanings out of those mistakes and experience. Let the healthy conversation be often in family.
3. Parents must not be over protective and over concerned like keeping child under shadow of their eye, love, and care. This thing will make child weak for facing society and circumstances outside family when it comes on their head and parents are not there to fight their battles, because they don’t know how to live life on their own as parents didn’t let them ever.
4. This one is hardest but most important to be up graded and it is removal of double standards for son and daughter. And on part of children they need to understand if their parents are stretching out of their traditional and old customized mentality for your happiness then you too must care, not to misuse love, keep care family prestige and reputation up, and work for both themselves and their parents.
5. Teaching children manners, values, morals values, what we can say is in built ‘”sanskaars” in children. This is really very important and skipping this by the side of parents is huge loop. Tell your child to respect elders, love everyone, behave properly, and enjoy life.
6. Teach the real meaning of winning instead of forcing them to reach at top in education, job, earn well, etc.
7. Care about how your child needs to be with you and not about how society wants it to be.
8. Stop comparing your parents and children from other parents and children in society. Everyone has different life and situations. Comparison will never let you see what you already have.

Now, taking pause because this is never ending topic that how an ideal parenting or child-parent can be because scope of improvement lies always.

At last, just bringing a conclusion that life is never perfect neither do we, but keep going with the flow is not only option too. Life is meant to be lived, so all the parents and children need to see that how beautiful life can get when we focus on solutions more than problems. We know bringing change and modification is very difficult especially in the age of our parents but still we can start making improvement from present era by giving best version of parenting and care we could give and develop a lively culture and not the one which is typical and stereotype for sure.