BEYOND BOUNDARIES – THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SELF MOTIVATION

The theme I have picked for this piece is “Beyond Boundaries”.

Now when we think of boundaries, the first thing that comes to our minds are rules, regulations and restrictions. And we think of the parents, teachers and bosses that hold us accountable in regard to those boundaries Frankly, it’s not a bad thing

I mean, if you’re like me, at least I do need supervision. I do need people holding me accountable and guiding me to do the right thing.

But, beyond these boundaries is something very different. I think of all those leaders, bosses, parents, teachers, etc who inspire us to go beyond the call of duty, to do more than we have to, to do it not because we have to, but because we want to.

Let’s see how research helps us discover how we can make that happen, not just for others but also for ourselves. Ask yourself, how can you inspire people (and yourself) to stay motivated? it’s called EMPOWERMENT. We’ve all heard that word and the textbook definition of empowerment is “get it done”.

Just get it done with as few resources as you can, as soon as you can. I empower you to get it done.

Now, this is not how it works. What I’m talking about is FEELING empowered. That’s different. Feeling empowered is when you are self-motivated.

Now, if you want to find out if you feel empowered, or if your child, student, etc feels empowered – Ask them these 3 questions. If they say “yes” to them, then they feel empowered.

And newsflash, this is based on research, not common sense or basic knowledge.

Question number one: Can you do it?

Albert Bandura calls this self-efficacy.

Do you believe you can do it?

Do you have the time, the knowledge and the training to do what you are being asked to do?

If they answer yes, good!

Second question: Will it work?

Do you believe that the process you are being asked to perform will work?

Will it yield results?

Albert Bandura calls this response efficacy — believing that the behaviour and the task performed will lead to the ultimate outcome. And this requires education as well as training to show them why it might work and what the outcome could be, etc. And if they believe that it will work, GOOD!

Third question: Is it worth it?

Now, this, is the motivational question.

Do they believe in the consequences? This is about the consequences. B.F. Skinner taught us this: selection by consequences. Dale Carnegie quoted B.F. Skinner and said, “From the day you were born, everything you did was because you wanted something for doing it.” That’s consequences.

So, is it worth it?

So you have to make sure you convince people that it’s worth it.

Also, if you answer yes to all those questions, you feel competent.

You feel competent at doing work that is worthwhile. We have all been there. When you feel competent at doing work that is worthwhile, you’re more likely to be self-motivated. No one has to look over you.

Now, here’s the challenge leaders, teachers: How do you inspire people to feel competent?

The answer is simple- When you give them feedback and constructive criticism. You give them recognition. You show them that they are competent.

Another thing is

CHOICE. Common sense tells us that when we CHOOSE to do something, we automatically feel more self-motivated to get it done. BF Skinner taught us that too in his book Beyond Freedom and Dignity way back in 1971.

We’re all controlled by consequences. But sometimes, we don’t feel controlled. That is when we work towards positive and pleasant consequences. That makes us feel good. It makes us feel like we’re working to get something. When we work to avoid aversive consequences, we feel controlled. And that is negative reinforcement.

So, to all the leaders and people in a position of power – How do we get people to become success seekers rather than becoming failure avoiders?

Here’s an example.

When we wake up for class, we wake up to avoid failure. We’re motivated maybe, but we’re not there happily. We tell our friends with a frown that we have classes, they’re a requirent. We say “I’ve got to go to class” like it’s a requirement and not “I get to go to class” like it’s an opportunity. And opportunity to learn and gain a new experience.

So, it’s all really dependent on how you see it. It’s all in your perspective and how you communicate with yourself and with others.

When we perceive choices, we perceive motivation. We need to communicate with ourselves in a way where we make ourselves believe that we are here to be success seekers, not failure avoiders.

Another powerful word, COMMUNITY. A social support group is critical and the quality of that group is even more critical. Be around people who help you perceive a sense of relatedness and connection, this will help you feel more motived and happy.

In conclusion, I’d like to quote one of my favourite movies, “Baazaar”, where the protagonist Rizwan very proudly says- “Mai yahan struggle karne nahi, settle hone aaya hoon.”

Let’s all be like Rizwan, and strive to make ourselves success seekers. Life is too short to keep avoiding failure. Make mistakes, learn from them and become the best version of yourself.

Credits: https://youtu.be/7sxpKhIbr0E