White, Black and Gray – ITS ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE!

“Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.” – Anonymous.

Life is all about perspective. The other day, I looked across my window and it was raining. Personally, I do not like rains. So I was just there, and not liking it. I believe it brings a lot of ailments and insects. But I also know that it is necessary, so I do not pass hate or impose my opinion on someone else. But on the other hand, my sister loves rains. Often, she would wear a raincoat or take an umbrella and just go out and enjoy the rain. So two people in the house, perceive one thing in two different ways. And that makes all the difference.

We often say for every good, there is a bad. That there are two sides of the coin. But it is my opinion, my perspective on this topic, that there is a third option as well. Something which can be the middle area, the common ground or just the grey area. You do not need to be in the extremity with things you are confused about. And if both the extremes are not beautiful, it is okay to be in the middle. I personally think that the grey area is a mix of black and white. That means it has good, and it has bad. Then to which side you want to choose, becomes easier when you put yourself in that area. So let us take a closer view on perspective and try understanding it and maybe develop a better opinion, for us and for the world.

What is perspective?

Perspective is said to be how we perceive things. The way we look at things and form an opinion about it. Perspective has everything to do with how you have lived your life up till now. The way you were raised, the school you went to, the friends you grew up with, the kind of family background you have, everything. Because that influences your opinion. You may become a pessimist if you have had a negative effect.

You may be an optimist if you have always seen the brighter side of things. You may be a realist if you know how things work in this world. And you may be an opportunist, chasing every opportunity for yourself. So there is just a vast ocean of things you could be. Let’s understand perspective through a simple story which I was once told. It has had a very distinct impact on my life. And there is nothing more that would bring me happiness, than sharing it with you and helping you see what I see.

So it goes like this, there was this old lady living alone. She had always been really down to earth and she cared about the animals living outside her house. She was a pious woman, but also very superstitious.

So this lady had two daughters. The elder one was married to an umbrella seller, and the second one was married to a noodle vendor. She was really close to both of her daughters and often worried about them a lot. She had been known as the crying lady, because of all the worries she had. She would cry every day. The neighbours and all the nearby children had started distancing themselves from her because of her crying. She could not help it. It was the constant fear she had, the worries. That led her to this fate.

This worrying was not what you would call normal worrying. It was a very different type of distress that she would go through. So every day, when it would not rain. She would worry about her first daughter. Because if it did not rain, then nobody would buy the umbrellas her husband is selling. She would then overthink, that the shop which her first daughter had would have to be closed and then she would not be able to make ends meet. After having this thought, a mother, the old lady, melts down and would begin to cry.

On days when it did rain, she would still cry. This time, thinking about her second daughter, who was married to a noodle vendor. Since it rained, her second daughter would not be able to dry her noodles, and would not have a prosperous life and would have to live poor. Thinking about such a thing, she would begin to cry again. So every day, every passing day, the old lady would cry for one of her daughters and would overthink their fate.

Until one day, the old lady met a monk. He was really interested in the old lady and her crying. She told him her worries and he said worry not. All you need to do is change the way you have been looking at the events. Now instead of crying on sunny days about your first daughter, you can think about your second daughter and be happy that her business is going to flourish as she would be able to dry her noodles and sell them. And on days when it rains, do not think of your second daughter but your first daughter. Think about how many people are going to buy umbrellas and how happy she is going to be.

The old lady who had been crying every day started implementing this in her life. She started becoming happier every passing day until one day she overcame her fears and started smiling every day for her daughters. From then on, she was known as the smiling old lady and she lived happily.

This story is so simple yet it sends out such a powerful message. I hope we could all understand what it meant to say and maybe just try it out for ourselves.

How to form a better perspective

Here are a few tips as to how you can begin to look at things differently:

Let go of your ego: You ego clouds your judgement. Let go of it and be more humble. When you are humble, you will see problems better, and you will have a better, much different perspective on things.

Discipline yourself: Learn to discipline your mindset. The way you approach things. If you think you are poor at solving sums, then you will perform badly. That is why it is necessary to have a better perspective.

Know the difference between your thinking and the actual situation: Many times we just overthink a situation and come to a conclusion when that is just not how it has happened or how it will happen. We need to learn to overcome that part of us.

Be kind: Show kindness wherever you go. When you start expressing these sides of yourself, you feel lighter and happier knowing that you helped someone or something, and even by the tiniest fraction. The world is a better place now.

Show gratitude: Please show your gratitude towards things and people when they are still there. It will help them and help you and make you feel happy.

Don’t be a pessimist: Let go of the short sight you have built with siding with the negative side. Have some faith and go pursue the brighter side of things.

Know when you are wrong: Understanding when it is your fault is also necessary. We often do not see our own mistakes and do not own up to them and it causes a lot of distress. Always see if somewhere you have done something for the outcome of the situation.

Learn and remember: Always when you come across an important life lesson. Do not ignore it, you may never know when it will come handy for you in life.

Be happy: Last but not the least, being happy can make all the difference in the world and your perspective. That is why it is necessary for you to be happy and have faith in yourself and do your own thing.