TOXIC POSITIVITY VS REAL POSITIVITY

Positivity is a way of  thinking in an optimistic manner, seeking out answers, expecting beneficial results and achievement, and focusing on making one’s life happier. It means looking at life in a carefree state of mind and seeing the good things in one’s life.

By applying positivity as a way of thinking in your life, you learn to not take things too seriously and learn to live in the present. Your focus is on accomplishing your goal and not worrying about the things or events that have already passed and the difficulties you might face. It has been proven by science that when we consciously encourage positivity in our minds, it improves all aspects of your life, that is, your personal and professional life as well as our mental health.

The way we see the world is a clear reflection of our feelings and emotions. Our brain creates new experiences every moment, that is, information is relayed from the prefrontal cortex, which deals with our thoughts, to the mammalian cortex in our brain which handles our emotions. These emotions then affect our sensory experience and pain. Therefore, a positive attitude can recreate our reality.

The emotions most commonly experienced by positive thinking in our life are joy, contentment, interest and love. These emotions have a ripple effect on our thoughts and behaviour. An individual who possesses this state of mind chooses positive and constructive feelings over negative and unhappy feelings.

By applying a positive mindset in our life, we can increase our resilience and are able to explore the world in a secure and confident manner. Negativity, on the other hand, can make us insecure and damage our self-esteem.Just because you adopt positivity in life, it does not mean you are ignoring difficulties. Instead, it means that you are acknowledging them and learning from them.

WHAT IS TOXIC POSITIVITY?

However, one should not force themselves to be positive all the time as that can have a negative impact on our mental health. This is known as toxic positivity. It is another way of saying ‘power through it’  at the expense of our feelings and is an unhealthy way of being positive. This type of positivity interferes with development and progress in your life.

It makes us downplay our depression, ignore anxiety related problems and put off our problems instead of solving them. The person experiencing these emotions is often blamed for feeling that way rather than listening to them or accepting them. It takes away the root of the problem and makes you ignore any sort of emotions. It teaches you intolerance towards processing of your emotions and shames the individual for having an emotional experience.If you avoid negative emotions then you are at risk for making them bigger. In this way of thinking,you lose valuable information because emotions often serve as a source of how we process information and act on our surroundings. Evolutionarily speaking, humans are not capable of feeling happy all the time.

There is a psychotic aspect to Toxic Positivity. It does not note genuine concerns or respond to what is happening. It is not reactive because the person has already decided that they will be positive regardless of the cost. Instead of being able to learn about what’s going on or to understand how others are responding, it is shallow and cannot see past its own agenda. It’s a disservice to others and people feel exhausted by it.

A study conducted by Stanford University found that suppressing any negative feelings as a coping mechanism has been linked to increased levels of depression. Another study  found that people feel more sad when others expect them not to feel any negative emotions.

SOME EXAMPLES OF TOXIC POSITIVITY YOU MIGHT HEAR

“Don’t be so negative” – By saying this the person is trying to make you feel guilty for feeling this way

“There so many people who have it worse than you” – By reducing your emotions to just a comparison, the person is made to think the emotions they are feeling are not of any value.

“Did you try hard enough?” –  This  makes a person feel that the effort they make is inadequate or invalid.

“You will get over it” – This might make an individual feel that their feelings are just a switch and can be overcomed without any effort.

“Never give up!” – This type of thinking may make a person feel that there is no scope or acceptance for failure and make themselves push their limits and risk facing a burnout.

WHAT IS REAL POSITIVITY?

While toxic positivity makes you feel guilty for feeling any negative emotions and makes you suppress them, real positivity or healthy positivity helps you cope with negative emotions through positive thinking strategies.

Real positivity includes feelings of open-mindedness, empathy, curiosity, contentment, compassion, perseverance and belief in others. Real positivity does not mean being positive all the time. Instead it means that you can be positive and still go through hard situations and even bad days.

It teaches us that emotions make humans with us. They are not only  part of our survival, but also part of our experiences. They should not  be shamed, downplayed, or ignored. Otherwise, they would hinder the healing process. Try processing the pain instead of pushing through the pain. It is going to make all the difference. Instead of merely trying to use positivity to cancel the pain, process it and find meaning in it. Reach out to those around you when you need help and support.

Compassion for the emotional vulnerability rather than denying, is a strong thing. It makes you want to heal, want to get stronger, to make peace with what you’re feeling, and eventually to release whatever bothers you. It makes you feel safe, allows you to feel and  you’re allowed to be human.

HOW TO EXPRESS REAL POSITIVITY INSTEAD OF TOXIC POSITIVITY

• Don’t drive away bad thoughts. It’s perfectly natural to feel sad, furious, frustrated, and helpless when it comes to hardship. Avoiding hurtful feelings is sort of like a boomerang – they come back when you least expect them to strike you in the face. What counts is the overall balance between positive and negative feelings.
• Learn the difference between issues that you can and cannot alter. There is always something you can do to change the condition. Gather your confidence and problem-solving skills, make a list of potential solutions and start working on them.
• Identify and correct flaws in cognitive reasoning. It’s perfectly natural to have negative thoughts once in a while but sometimes you can establish negative thinking habits that aren’t helpful. It’s possible to train the mind to see things more positively. You don’t have to see the world through rose-colored lenses.
• If you feel your family and friends don’t hear or understand you, strive to communicate your feelings in a positive way in other ways. You may want to put your thoughts on paper through a diary or find a support group of people who are going through the same issue as you are.
• Reach out to the professionals if you need it. If you feel hopeless, extremely depressed, panicked or burned out, please contact your doctor to get the support you need. Don’t fight on your own. Always note that it’s a sign of courage to know when to ask for support to cope properly with your problems.

In order to combat negativity, you need to make attempts to increase positivity in your life. A little more hope, compassion, and positive thoughts will benefit you in this regard. Do something useful every day to better your life and the lives of others. All of this will lead to the steady growth of positivity in your life.