I have lost count of the days so excuse me if it isn't the two hundred and forty third day, it does feel like 200 years though. I woke up today feeling yet the same, hopeless and tired. Been feeling this way a lot recently. Days morphing into weeks morphing into months and now the year is about to end which brings me to a 2020 rewind. So lets do this.

It started off as a very exciting year, I was doing things that I didn't think I would ever do. First year at college and I was a part of a very prominent festival. I was also falling for someone very hard. It all felt almost perfect, kind of too good to be true. And boy was I right cause here came the pandemic.

Initially the thought of not giving exams brought a splash of relief and happiness. First few months of quarantine flew right past. I was doing things that i enjoyed, I was safe and sound and even though there was a thought that the world might be on its path to a sudden destruction, I was still relaxed. Guess we all were since we did need this break from our lives and just stay at home for a while.

But just like every thing else, I could see the toll staying-in was taking on my friends, family and my own mental health. Still, we all stuck for each other and fought through.

It kind of become bad around October when my mental health started deteriorating a lot. I was loosing the will to get out of bed, do things that usually required no effort like dancing or playing with my dog. Watching the screen and sleep became my coping mechanisms and an escape from this. However after a few difficult weeks, I got out of it.

Even now I won't say that I have the perfect mental functioning but there is something that I have learnt over this entire year.

1)There will be days when you will feel like just giving up everything. Not getting out of bed, not doing anything. What I want you to do is accept that this is what you are feeling right now and try to feel alright with it. You wish to sleep in, do it. It is probably your body or mind sending you a signal to pause for a second.

2) If you are feeling unwell mentally or physically, for an unusually long period, don't blame it on the pandemic. Talk talk talk. Talk to your friends, to your family or even to your plant or pet. Get things out of your system.

3)Count the things you are grateful for. This might sound silly but it makes you happy when you are really feeling down. And in case if there is nothing that you are grateful for, go do something like that. Feed a stray dog, water a plant, help your mom set up her Facebook so she can chat with her long lost school friends.

4) Lastly and most importantly, Don't give up. This might seem very cliché but it is true. Keep in mind, no matter how bad it gets, you will get through it. Just accept, become aware and strive to make the next day better. 

That is it for the day diary. I shall now go take a long shower with my long shower good vibes playlist ☕ Hopefully my day will end with a smile and so will yours. :))

- Vaishnavi ❤️ 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hey guys this was just me rambling a bit about what was going on in my head a few weeks ago. It is honestly one of the reasons which made me determined to study psychology. I wish to know about my mind and how I can become better and help others become the best versions of themselves. If you guys relate to what I wrote and just feel like talking to someone and have no one, feel free to hit me up. 🌻