7 signs that you’re subconsciously self-sabotaging yourself

Have you ever heard about the saying- khud ke pair pe kulhadi marna? Or perhaps- kicking the ball in your own team’s goal? Well, that’s what self-sabotage feels like. Self- sabotage refers to engaging in certain actions or behaviours that we actively or passively take to prevent us from reaching our goals. Self- sabotaging comes naturally to us sometimes- for example, when we procrastinate and dawdle till the last moment to complete a task that could be completed earlier.

While such actions might be easy to notice, other self-sabotage actions are not as easy to spot as you think. You never know, sometimes you may feel that you are moving forward, but you just might be subconsciously holding yourself back. Your subconscious mind can be sneaky, and that is exactly why understanding why and how you personally self-sabotage is of vital importance. Listed below are 7 signs you could be indulging in self-sabotage, subconsciously:

Sign #1: Overly self-critical

It’s that voice in your head that makes you doubt yourself. Being overly self-critical includes you being far too judgemental of yourself, having unreasonable expectations and exaggerating the negatives- all which leads you to have a low self-esteem of yourself. For example, you may be beating yourself too much over that job interview that went wrong. You are not alone; it happens to so many of us. It is important that you learn from mistakes as you look forward to the future.

It is important to note that constructive criticism is very helpful for one to improve themselves, but being overly self-critical will only bring you down.

Sign #2: Unknowingly initiate arguments with people you love

Have you ever felt like you are close to achieving your goal and all is going well, in fact too well? You may be subconsciously waiting for that one blunder to take place because things have never gone so smoothly before. Therefore, you suddenly begin picking fights with your family/ significant others, without realizing that you are sabotaging your own happiness; until you are told off for your behaviour and you consciously realise how you are self-sabotaging.

This could be because deep down you feel undeserving of the good things that are coming your way.

Sign #3: Comparing yourself to others

Do you sometimes find yourself comparing yourself to other people? For example- Oh, she is so pretty. I wish I could be as pretty as her. Or, He is so good at making friends and talking to people. I wish I could be like them. Such comparison does nothing to motivate you- in fact, it will only make you feel that you never be good enough.

Think about positive qualities that describe you. They need not be unique to you in nature, but there could be qualities that value about yourself. Always keep them in mind till they sink in deep enough that you never forget them.   

Sign #4: Unhealthy short-term decisions

Do you sometimes try to numb yourself from what is going on by perhaps having a drink, binging on TV shows, binging on food; anything to keep yourself from directing your attention to what is important? Sometimes, we subconsciously decide to indulge in that sweet escape for one simple reason- to feel safe from dealing with the important stuff.

This stuff generally includes your goals and the big dreams you have. You probably are just scared that you could fail. Don’t worry, you aren’t alone. If you don’t try, how will you ever know?

Sign #5: Focus on problems, not solutions

This involves lamenting on what occurred rather than finding our how you could help yourself work towards the future. Adversities and failures are a part of life. It is something we all do, tend to focus on the negatives of the problems; but the real strength comes from being able to pick yourself up from that limbo and grow through the tough times.

Sign #6: Overindulgence in work

Ever heard of work smarter, not harder? This refers to you subconsciously pushing yourself do better and work harder, but come no close to achieving your goal. Sometimes, we may just want results and success, that we unnecessarily make things harder on ourselves than they need to be.

Sign #7: Question your purpose in life

Do you very often ask yourself questions like- is there any point to anything I’m doing? Or What is the meaning of my life? You just may be subconsciously self-sabotaging yourself into believing yourself to be worthless and inadequate. It is okay to feel down and question yourself sometimes, but questioning yourself all the time only leads to your self-esteem suffering.

Think about what you like doing, where you want to leave your mark on this world. Everyone has a purpose in life, you only need to be able to actually see yours.