My Personality- A Process of Conditioning and Reconditioning

              We all have one-personality. Personality is one of our most valued possession. Everything that we have achieved up till now is a result of our personalities entwined with those of others. Personality does not develop in a vacuum. Our personality is a unique response to the forces of socialization. We are all unique yet similar in some way. One cannot take a course on how to develop a personality, one can only nurture and replenish it from time to time.

I was born and brought up in a household that was conducive of growth despite economic hardships. I was the youngest in my family, and thus lived a sheltered life. There was always someone to help me out of my problems, although not without reprimanding me. In my school, my siblings were popular. Every teacher expected me to turn out like them-bright and dynamic. My family members thought I would be extraordinary. All these expectations overwhelmed me to another level. Unwillingly, I accepted the models set by them without thinking whether they resonated with mine or not. I complied until I realized I was not being myself. After few years, I decided to choose my own course in life and be what I want to be. I was tired of trying to fit in a world whose scope of success was so restricted. The one that decided our success on the basis of our stream in 12th std and our scores on a piece of paper. Somehow, I failed to see the world from such a constricted view. I ‘decided’ not to yield in to gender-stereotyping. I admonished anyone who tried to tell me where my place was. I ‘chose’ not to fit in a mould that was not of my shape. I ‘decided’ not to be obscured by prejudices and biases. I ‘decided’ not to be confounded by superficial ideals of beauty. At a young age, I learnt to respect my own perspective without disregarding others’. I stopped evaluating life and the people in a dichotomy- good-bad, fair-unfair, acceptable-unacceptable. Instead, treated them as a seamless rainbow with more than hundred colours. This is how socialization helped me to chisel my personality.

On that note, I would say that in our bid to understand nature we have forgotten that we are part of it. Unlike natural phenomenon, we are not guided by concrete laws or principles. As I earlier mentioned that our personality is a unique response to the forces of socialization, it does not mean that our responses are always in accordance to the laws or norms set by the society. In every institution there are few things that one can take and some that can be reformed or revisited. Important is that we realize that no institution is perfect. Our society is made up of people. We are the society and any society that does not give us the flexibility to be ourselves will not sustain for too long. Now societies are changing as people in them are changing. I think no society wants to thwart the growth of their members. Why they need to change with time because our personalities are shaped by them. If this growth gets hampered by stigma, prejudices, stereotypes and, social dilemmas we will not be able to become our wonderful ‘self’ or the ‘actual’ self. Thus, personality would only be reduced to our ‘personas’-masks that we wear for the rest of the world.