I went to Kota to prepare for my Engineering Examinations. It was supposed to be a 1 year course, however I couldn't make it to the merit list so I decided to give one more shot. However during my 2nd year my younger brother came to prepare as well. We both stayed in the same room. Initially I thought it would be fun with my younger brother living and preparing alongside me however as the days went by, my illusions were broken. Where I used to spend 3-4 hours to solve a single question, my younger brother hardly took 2-3 mins to solve the same question. Due to frustration of not being able to solve questions, I started procrastinating, while my younger brother motivated by his efficiency worked even harder. This ultimately led me to become jealous of him to such an extent that at one point,I vouched to consider him as my enemy. My frustrations usually resulted in me getting into a fight with him which further deteriorated our bond. Days went by and finally he made it to a reputed National College while I barely made it to an average state university. I do regret at times that I must have studied hard, but there's no point now thinking about it. The relationship with my brother has improved significantly because by introspection I found out that my younger brother never really interfered in my studies. He was just my outlet for pouring out my inner conflicts and frustrations. Now Instead of complaing I focus on learning from him and I hope that one day I would maje my life better.
So the lesson I took from this experience of mine is that, it happens so often that we blame other people for being the reason for our frustration, but this is not just true. It can happen that they just can be a mirror of who we wanted/want to be. In my case, I knew my procrastination was wrong but my brother kept on studying. Since I saw of whom I wanted to be in reality in him I began to hate him. However he was nowhere at fault. My mind's inner conflict manifested as my hatred for him.
So before you think that a person annoys you, introspect and look for the reason for your frustration. You will find that it is only your mind's conflict which is manifesting as hatred.
☮️ Peace 🙂
Dhriti Chadha December 15, 2020 7:09 am
Hi, I understand how it must’ve been. But so glad you could put those feelings aside and work on them. All the best to you!
So true, this is so much relatable, I hope u r doing well and Al lthe best for ur future
oh my god, I can relate a bit as I went to kota too. And my brother did too. so I can kinda relate, but I chose my field different and I am much happier. So, cheer up and live and enjoy life! 😀
Hi Vishal! I understand what you went through, it must be very difficult. But I'm so glad you could escape those thoughts in your mind!
Wishing you the best up ahead. Cheers!
Thank you for sharing you story Vishal! It's very inspiring. I think we all learnt an important lesson here. It's good that you figured our and resolved your own issues and now share a good bond with your younger brother. Having a good sibling bond is extremely important. Happy for you🤗
Also, I think sometimes it's the family or society in general that pits two siblings against each other, especially if they're of the same sex or age group and interested in pursuing similar courses. And it's harder for the elder sibling because in Indian society age is the only criterion for wisdom and the elder sibling is supposed to be "better" at everything and guide the younger one. If ever there is a chance that the younger sibling is good at something, the elder would be afraid to learn from them; they would be frustrated and this would greatly affect self-esteem.
PS: This is just a general point I'm making because it's something I've observed.
You know very rarely people actually look into themselves for the source of their problems. It takes a lot of strength to do that and I am happy for you. What you've written is just an outline of what has happened. I know how worse sibling rivalry can get.
Congratulations on coming out of it.
very few people are able to think wisely keeping aside their frustration.. You'r brother is brilliant and so are you!! ❤️
well I also procrastinate a lot and take out my anger on other people..so I can relate to your story.. I hope you are doing great in your studies!!!
