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Parenting Styles and Its Impacts

To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, You have to be in their lives today.- Barbara Johnson

Parenting is the practice of upbringing one’s child by the promotion of their physical, social and emotional well-being. The three major goals of parenting practices are- ensuring the health and safety of children, preparing them for life ahead as competent adults and transmitting cultural values.

There is no rulebook to follow when it comes to parenting. Every parent has a unique way of raising their child. However, parenting styles can be broadly divided into four main categories-

1. Authoritarian Parenting

This is a style of parenting where children are expected to obey strict orders of their parents without questioning anything. The parents want the children to always be obedient. Rules are not explained clearly, rather just stated. If the child questions the reasons behind the rule, they are restricted to do so. Communication between the parent and the child is mostly one way. The parents expect their child to do everything perfectly without making any errors. In case of failure to meet the demands, punishment is a common resort among authoritarian parents. These parents also don’t let the kids partake in problem-solving challenges or obstacles. They just make rules and enforce them with little regard for a child’s opinion. These actions prevent the child to be able to make any decisions on their own. The parents are less nurturing and caring towards their child.

The parents are highly demanding and low in responsiveness.

Effects on children-

Dependent on others
Low self-esteem
Lack of social competence
Prone to drug/alcohol abuse
Poor academic performance
Juvenile delinquency
Mental illnesses

2. Authoritative Parenting

This style of parenting is highly appreciated. Parents are adequately nurturing and caring. They set disciplinary rules for their children that are reasonable and well explained. The opinions of children are taken into account while setting the rules. Authoritative parents take the help of positive strategies like praises, reward systems to discipline their child. They prevent problematic behaviour problems before they arise by investing their time in the children’s lives and constantly being in touch with them. Communication is two-way and appropriate for the child’s level of understanding. The children are also consulted while taking any important decisions about the family members. Parents also support the children to set goals for themselves and help them to achieve their goals.

The parents with this style are highly demanding and highly responsive.

Effects on children-

Higher self-esteem
Independent
Improved social skills
More responsible
Better emotional regulation
Capable of expressing opinions freely
Higher academic performance
Fewer mental illnesses

3. Permissive Parenting

Parents with a permissive style of parenting have a very lenient way of treating their child. They set rules for their children but don’t make them a compulsion. The children are often given a lot of freedom, parents believe that their children can make choices for themselves and don’t feel the need to interfere. Parents usually play the role of a friend to the child. They encourage their children to talk about their problems, but they don’t put much effort into discouraging or preventing poor choices or bad behavior. Children may often develop problematic behaviours due to the lack of authority or rules.

The parents with this style are highly responsive but not demanding.

Effects on children-

Impulsive behavior
Poor social skills
Lack self-discipline
Problematic relationships with peers
Egocentric and demanding
Lack of self-control
Feelings of insecurity

4. Uninvolved or Neglectful Parenting

This style of parenting can be described as a style where there is a bare minimum effort by the parent. Parents show limited or no involvement in their children’s lives. They may fulfil the basic needs of their child but they are detached from their lives. They let the children figure out their problems. They do not provide any kind of guidance to their children. These parents also do not set any specific expectations from their children. Uninvolved parents expect the children to raise themselves.

Parents may be neglectful, but the uninvolvement is not always intentional. The parents could either be suffering from mental illnesses or may lack knowledge of child rearing or might be overwhelmed with work, financial challenges or household work.

The parents with this style are neither demanding nor responsive.

Effects on children-

Emotionally withdrawn
Impulsive behaviour
Delinquency
Mental illnesses
Increased risk of substance abuse
Difficulty forming attachments

Studies showing the impact of parenting styles on children

The study by Aunola, Stattin, Nurmi aimed to investigate the relationship between adolescents’ achievement strategies and the styles of parenting. Three hundred and fifty-four 14-year-old adolescents were chosen for the study. The results indicated that adolescents from families that follow the authoritative approach applied most adaptive achievement strategies that were indicated by reduced levels of failure expectations, task-irrelevant behaviour and laziness, and the use of self-enhancing attributions whereas adolescents from neglectful families, applied dysfunctional strategies indicated by increased levels of task-irrelevant behaviour, laziness and a lack of self-enhancing attributions. These results indicate how parenting styles can have an impact on a child’s academic achievement and performance.

Another study by Aunola and Nurmi investigated the role of parenting style in the problematic behavior of their children. They investigated the combination of mothers’ and fathers’ parenting styles that would be most influential in predicting the internal and external problem behaviours of their children. From kindergarten to the second grade, one hundred and ninety- six children were followed up on for a total of six times to measure their problem behaviors. Every year, the mothers and fathers of the respective children also filled in a questionnaire that measured their parenting styles. It was found that a high level of psychological control exercised by mothers combined with high affection predicted increased the levels of both internal and external problem behaviors along with children. Children’s external problem behavior was decreased by mothers who exercised behavioral control, but only when combined with a low level of psychological control.

The study Maddahi, Javidi, Samadzadeh and Maryam Amini aimed to study the relationship between parenting styles (authoritative, authoritarian, permissiveness and neglectful) and personality dimensions (the big five factors- extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism and openness to experiences). 272 university students were selected for the study. The results found a direct and significant relationship between openness to experience personality trait and an authoritative parenting style. It can be inferred that authoritative parenting style is correlated with developing openness trait components (including, having a desire for curiosity, imagination, aesthetics, wisdom, enlightenment and humanism).

A Malaysian study conducted by Johari Talib, Mamat researched the effects of parenting styles on child development. The sample consisted of 200 families. The results showed that mothers and fathers with the authoritative style of parenting have positive effects on children behaviour and school achievement. In contrast, the permissive and authoritarian styles of parenting have negative effects on children behaviour and school achievement.

Steps to Improve Effective Parenting

Boost the self-esteem of the child.
Set reasonable limits.
Be consistent with the disciplinary rules.
Make time for children.
Appreciate the children when they do good,
Nurture with unconditional love.
Prioritize communication with children.

Conclusion

The approach of parenting can immensely influence the personality and overall development of children. A dynamic and mixed style of parenting suiting the needs and capabilities of both the children and parent may yield the desired results.

References

https://www.verywellmind.com/parenting-styles-2795072

https://www.zedua.com/blog/four-types-of-parenting-styles-and-outcome/

Maaddahi, M. E., Javidi, N., Samadzadeh, M., & Amini, M. (2012). The study of relationship between parenting styles and personality dimensions in sample of college students. Indian Journal of Science and Technology, 5(9), 3332-3336.

Aunola, K., & Nurmi, J. E. (2005). The role of parenting styles in children’s problem behavior. Child development, 76(6), 1144-1159.

Aunola, K., Stattin, H., & Nurmi, J. E. (2000). Parenting styles and adolescents’ achievement strategies. Journal of adolescence, 23(2), 205-222.

Johari Talib, Z. M., & Mamat, M. (2011). Effects on Parenting Styles on Children Development. World Journal of Social Sciences, 1(2), 14-35