What happens when you love something so much that it starts to kill you? What happens when you don’t have control over yourself when that thing is not given to you? What happens when that one thing defines your existence and becomes your identity?
Everything is destroyed!
Hi I am Fariya. I belong to a middle class family. My dad is a government employee and my mom is a high school professor. I am a twenty year old mass media student from Pune. I lead a normal, healthy and a disciplined life. I wake up, go to college, come back and study, socialize with a few friends and sleep. That’s my routine. That has been my routine for as long as I remember.
My life took a 360 degree turn when I met Sana. Sana was my roommate. Sana was nothing like me. She was different. Her ideologies, perspectives, ambitions, goals everything !. Though we were in the same class, and were pursuing the same degree, her approach towards her life was very different.
She was the daughter of a rich businessman in Mumbai. Her wishes were always treated like commands. It seemed as if her life was so easy. Her father was one of the trustees of our college, so she could join in second year. Whereas I had to score a 97℅ to to be qualified in the third cut off list. I disliked her to some extent.
But, with time I started getting fascinated by her, her life. She has so many friends in college. She was a social media influencer with nearly 50K followers. Everyone in the college was her fan. She was loved by everyone. When I viewed her life from my perspective, everything seemed to be so perfect! I mean what can her issues be? She has always got what she has wanted And I on the other hand have struggled to fulfill some of my dreams and have also repressed some.
Sana was a regular smoker and late night parties were a normal thing for her. One day she asked me whether or not I wanted to join her for a get together at her friend’s house. I immediately said Yes! I don’t know why but I really wanted to go.
I wanted to enjoy one evening without thinking about the future or my finances. I got ready and went with her. As soon as I entered I felt that I had entered into some other side of the world that I didn’t even know exists. There were nearly 50 people.
Few of them were bush drinking, few were dancing and few were doing drugs. I don’t know from where they got it, but the amount was huge. They were smoking weed. I wanted to run away. I felt it in my heart that all of this was wrong, but somehow I froze.
Now, I was sitting in the middle of people who were high and were forcing me to try some. I knew it was bad, it was against the values my parents had given me but that thought, – ” Ek baar karne se kuch nahi hota “, ruined my life. I did it once and the worst part was that I enjoyed it.
That was it.
It became a weekly thing. Sana became my friend and soon she became my supplier. The money I had to save for my rent, I started spending it on drugs. I enjoyed this life so much, that nothing else seemed worth living for. One day or the other everyone is going to die, then why have regrets. Live your life according to your conditions. These thoughts were the reason for my unsuccessful life.
Two years passed and I had now turned into an addict. Sana was not an addict because she knew when to stop and how to control but she never taught me that. Maybe because I was her biggest buyer. My parents knew that something was wrong but they didn’t know what. One day they came to visit me and they didn’t find me at the college hostel.
The warden told them that I had been missing for the past 2 days and had not informed her about Anything. My parents got extremely worried and informed the police. The next day, they found me in a miserable condition at the hospital. My head was bashed and there were marks all over my body. I was almost dead. My parents were clueless about what had happened to their daughter. How did she land up in a hospital in this condition? Well, my parents found that out quite later during the investigation.
Case- Murder of Fariya Roha
Two days before I was found at the hospital, as usual I was out with Sana smoking weed. Sana refused to give my any as I owed her more than 17K. I promised her that I will return all her money, but she was adamant. We were out with 5 people that day. I owed money to all of them. I was not in my senses. I was losing control over my body and I had slapped one of them, I don’t remember who that was but yeah I did slap someone. And then someone hit me on my head and I fell unconscious on the ground. After that who did what with me I don’t know and I could never find out.
To everyone who is reading this, I could have been a successful journalist today. You would have been reading articles and interviews written by me. I could have been someone’s role model. I could have been a top notch reporter or news reader today but all I am today is a 22 year old girl, who died of overdosing. Yeah, those people were not punished and did not go to jail.
Everyone knew what happened but everybody somehow denied. They were rich kids, and had rich parents who saved them. The price of my life was negligible. Nobody cared for me except for my parents. But, even they started disliking me maybe. I was their ideal daughter and I was the one to break their trust and wasted their hard earned money on something that kills you.
The fact that I knew, drugs are bad, We should not do it, Addiction is not a joke, You might lose your life and still I did it, proved that I lacked something in me. I was vulnerable and also gullible. I could have refused that day. I could have said No! But I didn’t.
Life is too precious. It is straight up beautiful. Yes, it is sometimes difficult and the path is Rocky but at the end of the day it’s worth living.
All I would want to say is that it’s difficult to say No! But once you say it everything becomes easy.