In a world where ‘extraordinary’ is chased and ‘basic’ is left behind hanging, most of us are finding it difficult to get along. Or better, to find a balance. Work/academic stress, family problems, societal standards, everything is driving us to the verge each day. However, not losing onself in an attempt to fit in, is what decides the direction of our lifeboat.
While some of us are striving to keep things real, a section of us have got obsessed to the reel. Living a life trying to be someone else is nothing, but being fake. It is as if we are building a ladder of lies, filling each rung with inauthenticity.
20 Signs you are living a fake life:
1. Always too busy
You seem to be always on the run. There is no ‘me-time’ or time for personal reflection. Even self-care activities start seeming uninteresting to dedicate time to. You fail to live life in it’s original essence and just push through or survive.
2. Money is the crux of life
No, I am not saying money is unimportant. It most definitely is. Materialistic pleasures such as, lavish dinners, or shopping can help you relieve stress for a limited period. But, what next? If you stop celebrating the little joys of life and start feeling that happiness can be bought or purchased, you have failed to experience joy in simplicity & expect to cover them with extravagance.
3. Is the health really okay?
There are so many physical therapies and technology to make you de-stress. Be it massages, therapeutic devices, health supplements, etc. But even after spending in all those, your health might be ailing. When you feel the need for an external stimuli to make you feel okay, you can’t always be okay. You are dependent on a certain object or activity; the absence of which, could cause you trouble.
4. Gratitude? What is that?
Instead of being grateful for the number of blessings you could count on, you are always engaged in comparisons, dissatisfied with what you have and dissappointed over how others are doing better. You always feel something is missing and things are never complete for you.
5. Seeking approval is your key:
Guess what is the lock? ‘Social desirability’. It is nothing but trying or wanting to portray oneself as socially acceptable or favourable in certain conditions. You feel the urge to always be in the good light. You want people to listen and feel for you. Things go upside down, if you are not getting enough attention.
6. Looking down on others
You start feeling others are inferior to you and hence you filter through people as for who deserves your friendship. You feel jealous on somebody else’s success and often end up picking faults on them.
7. Critics, please stay away!
If anything changes a bit from the image you have created for yourself, the hell breaks loose for you. You cannot stand criticism, howmuchever constructive it may be or from whoever it comes from. You are always defending yourself for slightest of negative feedback (Patel, 2018) https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/313268
8. The Judge
Although you hate being criticised, you are more than happy to be on the other side. You judge others very easily and can come across as mean or rude often.
9. Inconsistency is your middle name
Since you always want to be on the spotlight, you juggle with a lot of things. You assume responsibility for more than what you can offer. This can lead to missing deadlines, as you would be too busy micromanaging everything around (Patel, 2018). https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/313268
10. The ‘urge’ to stand-out
You might feel the need to stand out in a crowd and to achieve that goal you might end up doing things against your underlying personality. For instance, seeking attention, trying to be more convincing, boasting about self or related ones, etc.
11. Letting your passion go
You can’t endure through challenges, you might let go off your passions or things you strongly feel about if things get difficult. The excuse mostly is that, ‘it is impractical’ or ‘unachievable’. When you stop striving for the things you love, you are not being true to self.
12. “What would they think?”
If this is the slogan of your life, you might not be living your life to the fullest. If you are always looking for ways to impress others, you might end up feeling dissatisfied and upset. The first step to a happy life is contentment and if that is missing, you are missing on life.
You feel the need to escape elsewhere and never comeback. Phrases like, “I just want to vanish”, “I would like to leave everything back in this life and start new”, etc. are frequently used. Milder examples of these could be, eagerly waiting for a break/ vacation quite repeatedly.
You might feel upset if things don’t go your way. Your opinions may differ timely, so as to maintain your image according to situation.
15. Superficial relationships
You might have a bigger circle of friends, but you do not feel attached or connected to anyone. People just exist in your life and there is no value added by any relation in your life.
16. If you are iron, power is your magnet
You find yourself most attracted to people of power or authority. While casual inspiration is okay, you might rather become obsessed. Afterall, powerful people are the easiest route to the top, isn’t it?
17. People pleaser
You feel everything related to you has to appear pleasing to others. Therefore, you always present a polished version of everything to others. This leads to a gap between who you really are, and who you present yourself to be.
18. Never accessible
You might be selectively available, i.e., when and where it is convenient for you. You might not want to be available when someone genuinely needs you. You may tend to bail out or leave them hanging at the last minute. You cannot even think missing something of your own for others (Brown, 2020). https://ideapod.com/16-signs-fake-people/
19. A halo of confusion
You are never sure about what you have to do. You cannot make decisions on your own. You do not have set goals or plans, but you fantasize a successful future. Therefore, your goals may fail to transform into reality.
20. Hollow words
You tend to give a lot of promises, but always fail to fulfill any of them. Basically, you are full of words, without any action.
Oops! What now?
There are high chances some of you resonated with a few points. Do not fret. All of us have phases where we learn through, and this is one of them. Fakeness creeps in when you feel, you are going to be judged for what you are.
To lead a more authentic life-
- Build confidence.
- Maintain a gratitude journal.
- Be unapologetic for having a different world view.
- Put your self-doubts to sleep.
A dimension of social media has convinced us that ordinary is deficient and flamboyance is satisfying. Don’t let others decide your worth and influence your preferences. Your mediocre could be someone’s exceptional, and someone’s exceptional would be your negligible. As far as you are content, nothing else should matter.